A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I work in the same offices as my ex of sometime ago, she cheated on me and I found out by chance, but I held my head high and worked away with my dignity, without any fuss though I was very hurt.Ever since that time, she seemed to make every effort to be distance from me, I remained civil throughout. I know on reflection I would find reason to go in her office, but for the last three month, I have not been in, in fact if I needed anything from there I would ask someone else to go in.Recently a chain of events at work may have suggested I am seeing someone knew also from work, which is not the case. Prior to this she would never come into my office, however in the last two weeks alone, though we both pretend the other isn’t there, that wasn’t how I used to be but you sort of get fed up.As part of my role I had to email her the other day as I have done previously, which doesn’t require a reply and indeed I never got one.Going back many many weeks ago I found myself in her office but she wasn’t there and I was chatting to her colleagues but stood near her desk and I noticed she had some business cards, the cards do not contain any personal details at all, me and the colleague I currently work with do not have any of these, so I thought what a good idea, so I took one so I could go to the administration and say can I order some of these with my name on and some for my colleague. I took it as an example not because it was hers.Anyway, I have seen my ex numerous times since and said hi, she half smiles at best.Following my email, she responded saying hi, and then asking why I had recently taken one of her cards of her desk. The tone was very friendly. I even got a please and thanks !!! Why someone would tell her that I don’t know but I can state it was many many weeks ago….The question I guess, and I think she is quiet clever hear, as her question is a fair one but she will have known about it for weeks, so why ask now and why the change of tone ??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): u can try being friendly back but be warned you were burnt before, do you want to go through that again.
and also once a cheater, there is a possibility of always a cheater.
do you have closure with your past relationship with her or do you still have feelings.
you can just politly answer her mail back about the card and leave it at that, without any other pleasantries.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Welll.. tone is verrry difficult to assume over a text message. Please and thank you could be typed with sarcasm, or duplicity. However, it is a change of tone, in and of itself, her just talking to you I suppose.The way you are steering me though, it seems as if she heard you were dating someone, and now is re initiating contact. This is not unheard of. It may just be a fascination of hers that will go away once she finds out you are NOT dating anyone. It's up to you what to do from here, I don't even know what you intend, but I would suggest not pursuing her.
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