A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:sorry to trouble everyone but i didnt know who to turn to. i am so confused! i have been straight for my whole life and never have i questioned it or given it another thought. i know quite a few people who have a different/mixed sexuality and i have no problems with it, i guess what im trying to say is that iv always been around different people and it hasnt effected me in any way untill now. i cant stop thinking about this women she is 25 and a p.e teacher when im around her i feel uncomfortable due to experiencing strong feelings and a strong attraction towards her. when im not with her i can't get her out my head i can't concentrate with anything iam doing today i sliced my finger because i couldnt concentrate. i just keep telling myself im being silly and that iv always been straight, everyone knows how confident iam with my sexuality, iv always had men, when me and my friends our out on nights out its always me that ends up with the guys. so why now iam so confused i have never questioned myself so much untill now and yet i dont seem to be getting anywhere or getting any answers. i feel like eveything i knew about myself i now dont, lost all confidents in myself. i mean this other women we get on so well we have got a great friendship will it just pass or does this mean something iam so confused if this does mean something then it would change my whole life peoples reactions even mine towards the whole thing and why over this one women i have never and do not feel attracted to any other women. iam 23 and in the middle of police training it could effect everything please help im going crazy! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): Thankyou your answers have helped me alot thankyou again X
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): You say why now? I say when is good? I lived a 'straight' life for 32years. Never questioned my sexuality. I was just with a man who i married and had 3 beautiful children with. I never labeleed myself straigth, to be honest i never thought about it. Then at 32 years of age i got a crush on a woman at college. The urge to just jump on her was so strong i could not be in a room alone with her. I thought i had a hormone imbalance. I'd been 'fine' for 32 years what the hell was going on. To cut a long story short, we're still friends and i'm over her but, i did fall in love with a woman and had a wonderful loving 4 year relationship. I truely believe i am who i was always meant to be. I just 'woke up' late. I wouldn't change my past as i have my lovely children, i just wish i'd woken up years ago.Maybe you'll be like me, because you really were not in tune with your body or maybe its just that you've met your soul mate who just happens to be a woman. Whatever the answer, you'll only be able to resist these feelings for so long. Be happy i wish you what you hope for xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): You have two options here:
1. Strike up a friendship with this woman.
Find out if she likes women
If yes, go for it!!
2. Strike up a frienship
Find out if she likes women.
If no, leave.
At least you haven't come onto her in any wrong way and cut all contact and move on.
Hope this helps!
...............................
A
male
reader, NightLad  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Heya,When a person develops a firm perception of themselves, and then they suddenly find cause to question that perception, it can be very uncomfortable and even scary. When the question happens to be about something as intimate as the nature of ones sexuality, it can be doubly so.To answer your question; I would in no way suggest that this necessarily makes you bi or even necessarily bi-curious.To quote from the American Psychiatric Association’s definition of Sexual Orientation*:“Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes. Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviours, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions.”Until you notice a developing pattern of enduring emotional, romantic and/or sexual attraction to women, I would not think of applying the ‘bisexual’ label to you. I assure you that what you are going through is not terribly uncommon. Although platonic ‘crushes’ on members of the same-sex seem to be more common during adolescence and early adulthood, it can happen at any stage of life. There are many posts on this site from males and females that are going through what you are from age-ranges across the board; from 12 year olds to married people with kids.You seem assured and confident in your sexuality up to this point, and to be honest, it sounds to me like you are letting these feelings trick you into over-thinking. Based on that, I would strongly suspect that these feelings will dissipate in time. As difficult as it may be try to just accept them for now. As scary and confusing and with all the self-doubt and worry that they bring, acknowledge them and then go on with your day. As a police officer you will undoubtedly deal with situations both physical and psychological that may fill you with fear and doubt; so try to think of this as just another test.For now, understand that what you are feeling may seem strange insofar as your own sexuality is concerned, but it is not abnormal. Many other heterosexual people, boys and girls, men and women, experience the same thing in their own lives. It is just part of being human.I hope this helps.* You can read the APA’s full text on Sexual Orientation (including answers to several more questions) here: http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html
...............................
|
