A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid. This is a bit of an awkward one, me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years now in the begining we used to always have sex and he used to go down on me. However now im lucky if it even happens on my birthday! ive tried talking to him about it and he'll feel bad so after a while he'll go down and then complain his jaw hurts or say have you done yet? And i feel pressured to fake it and he calls me out on it so i tell him hes rushing me but then still does it next time! its driving me mad i always make sure hes satisfied why doesnt he satisfy me? he loves me very much and would do anything for me.. just not that please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 January 2016):
 I can't improve on YouWish's advice.. READ hers and follow through.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 January 2016):
 I'm seriously hoping I'm not being dense, but I've never heard of a GUY'S jaw hurting during oral sex!! What the hell is he DOING down there, and I'm thinking that your lack of satisfaction has a lot to do with the fact that he doesn't know anything about anything!
The guy's gotten lazy if he's asking you if you're "done yet". A man doesn't have a big phallus to close around for crying out loud! If he thinks oral sex is the porn "thrust your tongue in and out like it's a penis", then he needs to get hit on the head with a dildo.
Why do guys still think that the vagina is still the only place where women are supposed to receive pleasure?? Next time, caress his scrotum, don't touch his penis, do it for 2 minutes, complain about jaw pain, and ask him if he's finished yet. That's what he's expecting of you.
(I'm being facetious. I do not condone violence.)
If a guy's doing oral right, it should be his TONGUE that gets sore long before his jaw does. And trust me - if he's doing oral the RIGHT way, then YOU will be the one stopping him because the orgasms are so intense.
Seriously! Do a simple GOOGLE search on oral sex and jaw pain. It's all WOMEN having the issue, and even narrowing it down doesn't find a bunch of guys complaining about it.
The thing is - I bet he doesn't really kiss you much anymore either, and your body has reduced itself to Breast One, Breast Two, and the vagina he wants to get himself off with, right? Not to mention he expects you to give fantastic oral sex 100% of the time.
One thing I need to tell you - never EVER fake again. Don't do it. Don't get him off so that he stops bothering you for sex either. Never ever fake it. How on earth can you become good at sex with your partner (and they with you) if you live a lifestyle of pretending that what they're doing is right, only to find out that you're unsatisfied?? Never fake it. Ever. Women do it for guy's egos, to get them to finish faster, because they think something's wrong with them for not having a vaginal orgasm, something that nearly 3/4 of women don't have for one reason or another...
If he loves you very much and will do anything for you, you need to talk to him lovingly about what YOU need. Tell him Ladie's First, and that unless it's a quickie where you just want to be nice to him (again, don't rely on this just to stop his being horny all over you), then he needs to get you off first. Tell him you've done him a disservice by faking it, and that you'll never do it again.
Get some instructional books or videos (NOT PORN!!!!) about oral sex, and have him (and you too!) learn new oral sex techniques. I agree with Denizen about the sex toys as a good first stop, especially if you have NEVER orgasmed with him before. But sex toys should be ONE in a large arsenal of pleasure tools, not the only one, because face it, sister, we can take care of ourselves in the sex toy department and without the pressure!
Make sure YOU are satisfied. Trust me, he's not making sure you are satisfied. Time to learn some honesty, intimacy, and new moves in the bedroom. No more FAKING!
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (17 January 2016):
 Perhaps you should get him to use a love toy instead. If he won't tell you the reasons he is off oral we can surely can't. Go online together and choose a couple of fun bits of merchandise to help you get satisfaction.
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