A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need advice. I just dont get this guy Im 'supposed' to be seeing. I met him new years eve, hes in the army based 300 miles away from me. Ive had 2 dates with him and weve had sex. Hes now told me he really likes me, and wants to start seeing me when hes on leave. Hes said that he doesnt want us to be with anyone else. Im fine with this, because I really like him. My only problem is, he doesnt seem to make any contact with me. Apart from messages on facebook where we were talking about starting a relationship, there has been nothing. To be fair, I last saw him on Saturday and he went back to the army on Sunday. But I just feel like hes not bothered. For example, today Im not well. I put as my status on facebook that Im ill and he saw it. But he has not asked me if Im ok instead he just writes on other peoples walls and statuses. Hes got my phone number yet he hasnt texted me or rung me at all. I last messaged him on FB lastnight where I agreed to start seeing him, and he has not replied. I know some of you might say hes using me for when he comes home. but seriously, when we were together it was lovely he told me he really liked me and wanted to be with me. So why isnt he making the effort to contact me? Cos if this is going to work as a long distance relationship, surely we need to be both be putting effort in to communicate as often as possible? Im scared he will go off me.
View related questions:
facebook, long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011): Hey there! I'm going through a similar situation. I met the guy online mid-last year (long distance) and he seemed really nice, I was instantly taken in by his sense of humour and friendly nature. We continued contact and have since, got to know each other really well... texting constantly every day!It wasn't long before he started making plans to come and see me, he's told me a couple of times that he loves me and how he can't wait to be with me. I was slightly taken back at first, but I embraced the situation and it felt great!Then about 3 weeks ago he started being cold and offish towards me, apparently he was going through some personal issues so I didn't want to intrude if he didn't want to talk about it. Since then, we've been going 3/4 days at a time without contact. I've been making all the efforts recently and I hardly ever get a reply from him! I questioned him and he explained how he's not been getting my messages - our normal form of communication is over Facebook (since his phone isn't working properly) but it doesn't make sense, why would he not be receiving my inboxes? I've decided to discard what he said, I think he was lying.I know exactly how you must be feeling - everything going great then the communication just drops! It messes with your head and you're constantly wondering if you've done something wrong. My advice to you would be to try and talk to him about it, tell him that you feel unimportant and unappreciated when he doesn't make efforts to contact you - if he knows how you feel he might get his act together. It could be that he doesn't realise how badly he's treating you, he may think its acceptable to ignore you. You sound similar to me in the way that you seem quite insecure? needing that consistent reassurance that he still wants and cares about you, otherwise you start jumping to conclusions and getting upset. That's what I'm like, I've been going out of my mind! The whole situation has made me realise how much I really do like him, he means so much to me and now I feel as though he's slipping away. All those late night conversations, the messages I would wake up to every morning - gone! At least try to get to the bottom of the situation - don't fall for stupid excuses, but you'll probably be able to tell if he's lying or not anyway! If he ignores you then that shows what kind of a guy he really is, in which case, end your involvement with him because he isn't worth it. I wish you the best of luck though, I hope things work out! xx
|
