A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About five years ago I had a casual fling with a guy I met at a work do. By 'casual fling' I mean we met up, went on a few dates, had dinner together, etc. over a period of about three months. We were both working away a lot, so we must have seen each other about eight times in those three months. Yes, we slept together, but only a couple of times.It didn't develop into anything serious and eventually we lost touch and haven't had any contact since. I'd pretty much forgotten about the whole thing, but now he's now been transferred to the same office where I work. It was a bit awkward to start with, but we were just polite to each other and I thought everything was going to be fine. But now he's started telling people that me and him had a 'serious relationship' and calling me his 'ex girlfriend' all the time, which I'm finding really embarrassing. The other week a few of us went for after work drinks and my partner (who I live with) was there and this guy kept going on about the 'relationship' him and I supposedly had and making out that it was really serious and it made my partner really uncomfortable. My work colleague also says that he's been telling people that we used to discuss getting married and having kids, which we most certainly didn't! I tried to talk to him about it the next day, but he just said 'it WAS serious, why are you pretending it wasn't?' Now a colleague has told me he's posted something on Facebook about 'his ex girlfriend being difficult at work.' This is making me very uneasy - as far as I'm concerned, it was a casual fling and nothing more. Why is this guy so desperate to make people think we had something long-term and serious, when he knows full well it was just a casual fling? I'm finding all this a bit weird! What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2013): a) could be trying to protect you from office gossip telling people it was serious rather than a quickie flingb) how did the topic come up in the first instance,did he just announce it unprompted on his first day?c) would not lose sleep over it, it's history whatever it was or was not so irrelevant now,old news.d) sounds like there's info missing here
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 January 2013):
 Ignore it, the dude is obviously delusional.
However if it goes any further I would tell him he needs to quit it, it was a 3 months fling and that is it, you are not in any way shape or form interested in more.
Personally I don't really see how your boss/HR can do anything about this. He really isn't harassing you, he is just making a mountain out of a molehill. YOU and YOUR BF knows the truth.
If any of our co-workers bring it up tell them, look it was a fling and I don't know why he is making a bigger deal out of this but if you can do me a favor? And let it go. I'm kind of done with that subject.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2013): he might be saying it was a relationship because he doesnt want you to look cheap in front of everyone, and to make your partner believe you dont just sleep with anybody regardless of being in a relationship or not, perhaps?
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 January 2013):
 Hi
So long as you and your partner know the truth of it all it doesn't really matter what he,or anyone else thinks.As you have worked there longer your colleagues must know you well enough.
Have a word with him if it's bothering you, WITH your partner. Embarass him by BOTH of you saying you know it's not true so stop the stupid talk and tell him to move on,do it at the next work drinks.Also block him on FB.
Sounds like he just doesn't get out much.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 January 2013):
He's a loser who probably hasn't had a woman touch him since. Maybe you were the "love" of his life!
I'd tell him straight up: "I don't understand how you could think we had a serious relationship as it was anything but. However it doesn't matter. I want you to stop talking about 'us' because it's making me very uncomfortable."
If he doesn't stop, you should talk to your hr person or supervisor.
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