A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Gonna try keep this short.Im 27, met my current gf whos 25, 4 years ago through her sister,who is also my work colleague,she gave me her phone number so we could chat on an IM chat service.We chatted for a month,i got to know she liked clubbing,took a drink,didnt smoke though.After just a month of chatting,she fell pregnant.Her parents were understandably not impressed,she was 22 at the time.She immediately stopped going out with her friends,clubbing drinking etc.All her friends ditched her,including her best friend.So for the next 9 months we spoke alot because she had no one to talk to.She felt very down and out because of what happend,but what she didnt tell anybody is she didnt know who the father was,because at the time she slept with 3 guys.I encouraged her alot and told her not to worry.To cut it short,the father of the child didnt want to step forward, and wants nothing to do with her. 8 months after baby was born we started seeing each other.Since we've being seeing each other,she has told me alot,she admits she was careless to have just had sex with 3 different, and admits she was also drunk.She says she doesnt know why i accepted her,she doesnt deserve me,doesnt know why im so good to her.She says i was such a change in her life,she has never met or been with a guy like me,im so different,she didnt know guys like me existed.We've been dating now for 2 and a half years,her daughter and i are really close,although she calls me "uncle" lol.Lately shes been talking about getting engaged and marriage.I asked her why she wants to get married to me,she says because she loves me, and her daughter needs a father.My questions are,why did she behave so careless?Would she repeat this behaviour again?Why is she with me,because shes scared to be alone?or because im the only guy that would accept her with a child and her past?Or because her child needs a father? She is pretty and could get any guy she wants.And,should i marry her?Because i do want to,i love her.
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best friend, clubbing, drunk, engaged, her past Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): liked all the answers here..
my personal advice to you is that if you like her so much than you should marry her.
outer beauty is one thing, but you must also see that she felt guilty for her mistakes she made. woman are not generally into making such mistakes again and again, because it will torment not just her but also her daughter. she is far mature to as what you wrote about her,and she wants you,,.
the important thing is that if you do love her? do you find the perfect soulmate in her, and not looking for other substitutes in life.
if you have helped her through the worst time in her life, and she really feels to thank you and give you the perfect return to you..
wishes..
A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 Ok... I am going to be very honest and frank with you.You need to not worry so damn much. She did what she did and it is in the past. She is not going to get drunk and bang 3 dudes or whatever she did.The important things are as follows.Do you love her?Do you want to marry her?Do you love her daughter?Do you want to be the dad? Being a sperm donor doesn't mean shit. A father is someone who takes care of a kid of the woman they love and want to marry, that also loves the kid. If you said yes to all of those, then you need to get off this site, push your girlfriend against the wall, kiss her, and tell her you want to marry her.Go to it my friend. She wants you because she loves you.
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A
female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (1 January 2011):
She's with you because she really loves you. Maybe she realized that it was time for her to change her ways and raise her daughter right. Stay in that little girls life. She is gone need you. You may not be her real father but you can be like a father to her. I think yall should date a little longer to see if marriage is really what you guys want.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 She behaved that way because she was still young and naive, but everyone makes mistakes and she has learnt from them, see the guilt she has already shown you, no she will not make that mistake again so you no longer have to question her for why she wishes to be with you. You need not question her love for you, you were there for her when she needed someone, you accepted her and her child when nobody, not even her own family would, you took care of her and treated her with love and respect as any noble man would. Why wouldn't she fall in love with you? She could indeed get any man she wanted but she wants you because she loves you, purely. Because her daughter needs a father? No. Because nobody else would take care of her? Perhaps, but that is not so impure a motive as you think. YOU took care of her, you were noble and her very soul saw that and felt it, her heart fell for it because you are exactly the sort of man she needs in her life and she asks for nothing more than you to keep taking care of her, keep loving her as you seem to be ready to do anyway. That is what a marriage should be based on, love and respect. What greater motive could there be? If you love her, go on and marry her and be happy. Best wishes.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): for a start, people r never perfect we all make careless mistakes and sometimes we dont know why. But out of her careless mistake came a lovely daughter so really its not something to regret. You ask y she is with you? U said so urself, she told u she loves you! She has obviously changed and grown up because love and parenthood do that! If u love her then marry her because she obviously loves you otherwise she wud hav been gone by now!
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