Why is she so angry when I tell her she should save her money and only send her family what is necessary?

A male age 36-40, *hrisandkatie writes:

My girl freind and i are planing on getting married and living together next year. We are saving money and working hard but recently we had a discussion about money and it all went bad after that. She is Vietnamese and her mother and father and brother live in vietnam. She wants to send money to them every month and i think that is good because they need help but yesterday she told me that she was going to send her entire paycheck to her family not only to her mom and dad but also to her aunts, and other people. It made me worry that she was working so hard and sending all the fruits of her labor to her family. this is nothing new she sends money all the time to her family and usually ends up with nothing. I work and make my own money but i feel she is helping everyone else and not her self. I told her its ok to send money but not ok to go broke while doing that. she got angry and told me that her grandmother had warned her that her husband might be controling of money and cheap and not let her send money. i really dont feel like that i just feel she works so hard and should be saving money. not for me or our relationship but for her own financial security. Not to mention she is always buying stuff like expensive cell phones for her brother and clothes and other items for her entire family. Am i wrong to tell her she should save and send only what is necessary? Why is she so angry when i say that? she says i am selfish, is she right? I know its her money and i am only giving my opinion. What should i do?

View related questions: cheap, grandmother, money

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A male reader, chrisandkatie  +, writes (17 September 2009):

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