A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I tried having sex for the first time two years ago, however the guy couldn't seem to fit it in and gave up. A year later I tried again with someone else and the same thing happened, we had done a lot of foreplay first and when then when it came to sex he couldn't get it in again, so we attempted many different ways to get it in but still it wouldn't. What is wrong with me? I really like the guy I'm seeing now but previous experiances of trying to have sex has left me very scared to have it. I feel stupid and embarrassed, no one else seems to have this problem and it's causing problems with my boyfriend. I've tried everything. My friends all enjoy sex, so why is it a problem for me?
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male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 it's nothing wrong..just that you are trying too hard..enjoying your life is like holding a fistful of sand..the tighter your grip the harder it is to keep the sand in your hand..you don't need to worry if your partner really loves you..there is nothing to be embarassed..no one is perfect after all..relax and give it a try..if it works out fine if it does not laugh off the experience...all the best
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Are you totally tense when he is trying to get inside you? I think it could be that you and whomever you are having sex with need to take it SLOWER.
And (even if it is ultra hard) you need to try and relax more.
It may not be easy the first few times but take it slow, be ready for it (which means wet) and just let him start out with a finger then two.. then move on to insertion.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Try smaller objects and work your way up to penis-size. For starters, use your finger. Or his for that matter. You can use tampons, right?
Then work your way up, either on your own or together with "this guy" you are seeing. Maybe a clue is that "this guy" or "the guys" from the past were only "guys" and not "boyfriends"? Perhaps you really need someone steady who is willing to try not just once, and the boot. But someone who is there, who works his way to it together with you, slowly, and over time?
You can use carrots. I know it sounds odd, but carrots come in all shapes and sizes, and you can easily work your way up in size, length, and girth, with the help of carrots. Let them get to room temperature, then wrap a condom on, and then play with it and see how much you can insert.
If you're not up for the cheap and easy way (or dislike carrots), you can go the expensive route and buy different size vibrators and sex toys. But the essence is still the same: start small, then work your way up in size once you're ready.
Sex can be a little tricky, you're not the only one who experiences this. But most people are too shy to talk to someone about it, or too shy to talk to their friends about it. Have you asked your friends for example? They might be able to guide you and give you good hints and pointers.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Some women are born with an industrial strength hyman. See your Gyno and see if he can take care of it for you. It's no big deal and you won't have to worry about again.
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