A
female
age
30-35,
*ixiePie
writes:i just have to ask peoples opinions on this, why is porn such a no-no when it comes to couples?my partner and i enjoy naughty weekends where we explore our kinkier side and watch and make our own porn (to be viewed by only us i stress!!)but i hear of so many relationships breaking up because of a magazine found here or a video found there or even a suggestion of it from one side to the other.it is an indulgence, just like licking a food substance off a naked partner, and as long as it is not an obsession i can't understand the problem!!can anyone explain to me what the problem is if they have one (i am honestly not criticising, it is a genuine question), any experiences anyone has had with it, and anyone who agrees with me?!!thanks!
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female
reader, PixiePie +, writes (6 November 2009):
PixiePie is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou everyone, but i was just wondering if anyone agreed with me.
to the anonymous person who wrote do i think he will delete them when we break up... you have to trust that person before getting into any of this with them and i trust him completely, and a second point, though i understand it will seem naiive to some, we aren't going to split up!!
i happen to think it is much healthier to share porn than it is to ban it, if that were the case, lies would then form, things would be hidden and either one of us would feel oppressed in the relationship and it would no longer be a contented one.
A
female
reader, britt5219  +, writes (5 November 2009):
I've was told that when in a relationship and one partner (usually male) becomes too obsessed with porno they tend to feel that their partner should be like one of the women on the pornos. Like they would put too much pressure on their partner to do stuff like that. I don't think I'd have a problem with it unless they became too obsessed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): To answer your question: all people are different. All couples have different dynamics. Some like porn, some don't, and that's ok.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): Do you really think he's going to delete these if you break up? You ready to become the Friday night feature at his future fraternity House?
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (3 November 2009):
 Here are problems as I can come up with off the top of my head, though naturally some or all of these might not apply to any particular couple.
1) A man who spends his time staring at thin asians, or DD cup breasts, or even just smooth and firm legs might then lose interest in his american, cellulite riddled, overweight american wife. If you look at perfection, you're less impressed by average.
2) Porn stars will indulge in any fetish there's a market for. After watching porn stars deepthroat, swallow with a smile, take anal and beg for more, then still ask to ride... one's own wife's disinterest in oral sex will feel like a significant disappointment. Women are not sex toys, but porn makes it feel like they are.
3) Porn is a sort of visual adultery. How many wives are comfortable with men checking out other girls as they walk past. (And be honest, men. Do you want your girl checking out and drooling over other men?) But in porn, you're fantasizing over and deriving sexual pleasure from women that are not your wife.
4) A man can only orgasm so often before running out of ammo. If your wife is eager and wants you more than she gets you, you're taking pleasure away from her in order to spend it alone on your own pleasure.
5) Porn is a very primal thing and is DOES tend to snowball. Starting at bikinis leads to nudes leads to sex leads to fetishes and often even leads to live chats and craigslist posts. If you stop at porn DVDs you may be ok, but many people aren't strong enough to stop before it becomes cheating.
6) There's also often a great deal of lying involved, hidden stashes of magazines, DVDs, and cleared browser histories. Lying erodes trust and kills marriages.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): well my partner and I enjoy making our own videos also and watching it together. but sadly my partner still finds the need and thinks it ok to sit up until 4am to wank off to porn while I lay in bed alone and being deprived of intimacy.I think its extremely selfish when a person in a sexually active relationship would rather worry and think about getting him/her self off then spending time doing the real thing with someone who loves them and wants to.when I first meet my partner I found a few magazines and videos around, no problem did not worry me one bit.The thing taht I did have a problem with was when he would look at these things every day and for long amounts of time instead of spending time with me.After a while I became withdrawn from the relationship because I just didn't think he loved me or wanted to be with me, he would reject spending time with me to spend time with the porn.I became depressed thinking there was something wrong with me, in the end I told him how it made me feel and this just made him hide it even better.sadly the porn soon turned in to dating sites and dirty web cam chats, this turned then in to phyiscal contact with people, he has cheated on me atleast 3 times I know of, 2 of them being from online.
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