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female
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anonymous
writes: In February of this year I bumped into an old work collegue in New York. I live in London, he lives in Hong Kong. Since then we have kept in constant touch and became really close. This man is 17 years my senior. Last weekend we eventually got together in New York, spending 4 days together. It turned out to be a complete disaster. From the moment we met I felt I was being bullied, bossed around and that generally he was very dismissive and at times hostile. It wasn't a blind date as we have known each other for 6 years, the build up to meeting had been exciting and we were both really looking forward to it. We are both entreprenurs and are both used to making our own decisions, but there was no compromise.I would say I was a fairly carefree person, with no real hang ups. But over time he constantly picked on my bad points. A year ago he came out of a relationship and his girlfriend moved back to the UK with his child, it is going through the courts as he currently has no access. At times he appeared full of saddness and bitterness. On the last day he had a complete rant at me saying I was high maintenance and difficult, yet he was the one that continually asked if he looked good/was handsome. Admittedly the rejection and bullying did affect my mood, I wasn't sleeping and felt very comfortable in his company.Now that I have come home, relaxed amoungst my true friends I feel like I have been on the recieving end of his previous misfortunte. I am furious at how he treated me and feel like my ego has taken a bruising. The correct thing would be to severe all ties, but at the moment I feel like giving a piece of my mind. How can I move on when I am feeling so angry. I can't beleive how bad he has made me feel. What is his problem?
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female
reader, lucyloo135 +, writes (24 August 2006):
 hi hun
well first of all i would say it was very wrong of him to treat you like that !, allthough he is going through a hard time at the moment there was no excuse for him to treat you like that if ever in touch with him again you need to tell him how you feel about how he treated you.
For now you need to be concentrating on moving on an not let his troubles get you down as you obviously have a very confident and bubbly personality, forget him you dont need people like that in your life.
hope this helps, lucy xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Well, if it makes you feel any better, perhaps you SHOULD send an email and let him know what you think of his behavior! End it by telling him you want no more contact (if in fact you don't).
Whether or not he was taking out his "previous misfortune" on you, he had no right to act in such an abominable way. His behavior was atrocious.
At the same time, it wouldn't hurt to think about his criticism! He said you were "high maintenance" and "difficult." Could there be a grain of truth in that? Think of previous relationships and see if any prior boyfriends said - or hinted - at the same kind of thing.
Sorry to hear this was so awful, though.
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