A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my mum has totally baffled me! she WILL NOT, as in no way hozay! never ever ever let my boyfriend in my bedroom, which is fair enough, its her house and i do abide by her rules, she pays for it so she says what gos etc.. but i have been with him now for two years and 3 months, so i think its obvious we have sex and everything else.. when i first got with him, i was 14. she wouldnt let him hold my hand without threatenin him, "anymore than that and it'll come off, im tellin yaa" so hes always been scared of her in a funny kinda way, lol. Anyway this isnt the problem, he IS allowed to sleep over, providing he sleeps on the sofa and i sleep in my bed, he does stay over sometimes and hes always on the sofa when my parents go to bed and he always wakes up there :P although we may bend the rules a bit through the night. Anyway! whats baffled me the most is the fact that it was my 16th birthday in april and my mum put 2 condoms in my birthday card and wrote *finally legal* yes it was only a joke, and nothing was meant by it but what i dont get is, she puts condoms in my card so shes obviously tellin me she knows im sexually active, which i think shes known about for months to be quite honest! ive been havin sex for over a year but she WILL NOT i mean WILL NOT let me go on the pill, shes totally AGAINST it, id personally of thought that if she did know i was havin sex, and she gives me condoms and tells me im legal, then she'd want me to be safe and not get pregnant?! i just cant work it out! I'd go on the pill without her knowin, but she'd find out and it would cause trouble so i cant be bothered with it! but i just dont understand why she puts condoms in my 16th biirthday card but WILL NOT allow me to go on the pill?! my boyfriend says shes in denail, haha! whys she like this? is anyone like this with their daughters? thanks! (:
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condom, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Actually, Jamer70 it doesn't matter if you miss the pill AFTER you have had sex - you won't get pregnant that way. You just have to have another 7 pill taking days BEFORE you can have sex again.
However, Jamer70 is right about the lack of protection from STDs.
What I advise is that both you and your bf go and have an STD test before you go onto the pill, if you'd prefer the pill. You don't need your mum's permission to go and do this, nor do you need her permission to go on the pill. You are old enough to go yourself, and it's completely confidential.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): Your mother has no real say at all anymore in whether or not you go on the pill.So get yourself on it. If she finds out, tell her that its YOUR decision and not hers and if she doesn't like it you can always move out and never see her again.Its not nice. But sometimes over-protection can be child abuse. And no parent should deny a person the right to contraception of any kind.Its time to grow up and stop listening to you mother so much. Time to make your own decision, kid.Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Hi there, I am not a mother, but mothers try to protect their daughters from what they preceive as too much, too fast. That includes having sex at a very young age, and especially pregnancy. Drinking too much too young. Putting yourself in dangerous places. Young woman get kidnapped and killed these days, and other perils. It seems you have jumped into the pool and are going for yourself. My dad and mom would not let me take company, let alone have someone sleeping in my bed, until I was sixteen, at that age I was in the last year of high school. I would never, never have brought a young man to sleep in my bedroom. First of all, I would not want my mom, knowing my private business, and second, if I thought I was old enough to have sex, I should have been able to afford a private room to keep my private business to myself, but that was my thought then, and I guess I have to say my thought now. But it is a different world and different values at this point in time. But I would think, that you would think about respecting your mother's home, she wants you to probably have a better life than she did. Now I am sure, you think you know all there is to know, but when you are your mother's age and have a precious child, and that's what they are precious. You carry them for nine months, you can die having a child, they are a part of your body and your soul, through your love for them and you want to protect them from harm. Harm comes in all forms, not only pregnancy, today it is the deadly disease of Aids. There is no way, you can say positively, not even if the person is your husband, that they have not been with anyone else, having sex. People can tell you anything. Therefore if you are having unprotected sex, you are positioning yourself for the possibility of Aids, it takes 12 years, 12 years, for Aids to incubate and to be found for sure in your system. That's is a long darn time. Therefore you take the chance of incurring the disease, not trying to scare you, but the condoms your mom gave you, are for, again your protection. Actually for saving your life, though you might not think so, but it is true. Million's of people have already died. The pill will not do it, that only keeps you from getting pregnant. So, one more time, your mom is looking out for you, try to respect her and don't force the issue. As young people, we are always wanting more freedom, I can remember getting angry with my mom, for not letting me go somewhere one night, she said I was going home, I went home. Try to reverse the roles, would you want your young daughter bringing her boyfriend home to sleep in the next room in your house? Try to look at it with other eyes. Hopefuly your life will turn out well, you have a long way to go and a whole lot to learn, though you may not think so. Hopefully some of this makes sense to you. Sorry to be so long with my words. Take care of yourself and stay in touch. Try, try to see the other side, it's for you that she is doing this, not for her.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Simply put condoms protect against STD etc
while the pill does not, it protect against pregnancy.
Maybe your mum trust you, but she doesn't know where you bf is putting his diddle and doesn't want him putting it unprotected into you, which can cause untold problems.
Also the pill can be forgotten the next day, one slip and its over.
At least with condoms there's no, ill be alright tomorrow attitude, its glove or no love
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