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male
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*ack
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 months, and ever since the start her ex boyfriend has been constantly trying to get her back, which is very damaging to our relationship. I've put up with it for 7 months but I'm at breaking point as he tried hugging and kissing her. After all the anger and problems he has caused, she still wants to be friends with him, even though it's caused so many arguments. I've even asked her to ignore him, not speak to him, but she just can't. What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005): If she really wanted to be with you ,she would of seen all the trouble her ex was causing and told him to back off,This might be hard for you but maybe she wants to be with him,Instead of you,
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (9 November 2005):
if you trust her, let her be friends with him. if she doesn't want him back, she'll stick with you but tell her you're just worried. tell her she's gorgeous, etc. and you don't want to be without her. i'm guessing this is why you have such a problem. i had a similar situation with my partner. i chose him over my ex but kept in touch with my ex who, even after 2 years, would welcome me back. however, my partner knows i chose to be with him when i could have been with someone else and he knows i love him and don't want anyone else
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005): If she loved you ,she wudnt talk to him, if it has caused so much damage to the relationship
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005): Jack,
The first thing you need to do is communicate with your gf. Tell her how you feel and make it crystal clear that you are at breaking point over her ex's behaviour, then if it does come to the crunch and you have to let her go she can have no comeback that you didn't warn her. Ask her to tell you honestly whether or not she still has feelings for the ex and if she would ever consider getting back with him if she wasn't with you. I don't know how long she was with the ex but the longer it was the harder it will be for her to let him go as a friend. What the ex really needs is closure and by that I mean your girlfriend needs to stop giving him any hope whatsoever that she will take him back ie she needs to break all contact, at least for a few months to allow him to mourn her and accept it is over. This is not your job, your only responsibility is to tell her how you feel and what you want to happen in order to stop you feeling bad and considering ending the relationship. Believe me, if it is truly you that she wants to be with the second she believes you may be going to finish with her because of the ex bf she will do as you wish and cut all ties with him for a good while. Good luck and don't ever feel the need to put up with emotional rollercoaster stress, I have been there and ended up having to end the relationship but of course it is difficult to forget all the good stuff. Bottom line is: don't put up with crap, you don't deserve/have to, and if you must, call her bluff and end things unless she agrees to cut the ex off. BON CHANCE!!
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female
reader, x_litto_miss_ferguson_x +, writes (9 November 2005):
i was the same with my boyfriend and my ex you should explain how much u hurt and u know that she wnats him as a friend but her ex obviously doesnt care about her if he is trying to break them up and get back with her if friends isnt good enough for him then they should stop trying to be friends tell her uv had about enought but wait a few months! ive left stopped seeing or speaking to my ex as im so in love with my boyfriend we are planning to b engaged and have never been happier!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005): This may sound a bit harsh but i'd give her an ultimatum. Why should she allow her ex to cause so many probelms between you and her, maybe she likes the attention or wants you to remeber that she is someone who is desired by others but whatever it is its not on. Theres a reason why he is her ex and not her current boyfriend and she needs to remind herself of that. let her know that you respect the fact that they have a past together but thats just what it is the past and if she wants to move forward with yourself then she has to leave it where it belongs and cut ties with him. It almost seems like she shes stringing him along a bit and maybe stringing you along a bit too, dont be to harsh with the ultimatum but make your feeling really clear and let her know the efforts of her action if she doesnt sort it out.
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