A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello dearcupid and everyone else on it.I've just been having some girlfriend issues lately and was wondering if anyone could shed some light on this..See, there's my girlfriend;She's really, really hypersensitive and when I like to joke around and have fun, she'll have no part in it. She always said "I'm tired..", or she'll snap at me JUST FOR TRYING TO HAVE SOME FUN. Then she feels bad, and kind of buries her head in my shoulder and tells me she's sorry, so I say to her "What for?" in the hope that she might realise that what she's doing is wrong, hurtful, and that she'll do something about it. But INSTEAD, she turns the blame on me, somehow, and it's all my fault. I didn't leave her alone, I talked to her, and all this other made up nonsense she conjures up.She says she 'doesn't want to be understood because no one can; not even she' despite myself, on numerous occasions, always trying my hardest to be there for her. TRYING my hardest to talk out stuff with her. STAYING with her when all she does is snap and get the you know whats at me.Why are girls like this? I was brought to believe that girls LIKE to talk stuff out. I was led to believe that treat unto others as you yourself would be treated. I'm ALWAYS nice to her. I've never yelled at her, never abused her in any form, shape or way. I've never even raised my voice at her and we've been together 17, almost 18, months.I have a bad habit of speaking my mind and once I said "well, maybe you'd be better off without me. God knows you'd be happier for it". Prior to this comment she had been cold, unloving, and snappy at me. So what did she do after I said it-slap me right across the face then storm out of class.She's told me that she doesn't need me on numerous times. That she doesn't want, nor need, my help. In any way, shape, or form. I feel useless, irrelevant, and used half the time because i just feel like an emotional punching bag to her. Something she can just abuse, yell and scream at, and practically lay into every minute of every day.When I want to have fun, perhaps even act like a happy partner with her, she'll never respond. She does usually puts her head on the desk and tells me to shut up. Or F**k off. yet, when she's with her friends, she's all happy and chipper, and fun-loving. Why not with me? What's wrong with me that she doesn't like?I don't get why she's this way toward me. Why is she so mean and vicious at me!? I've always been there for her and yet, all she'll do when I'm there for her is abuse me somehow. Find someway to cut me down or to get as far away from me as possible. The only time's she's ever not like this is when we're alone.So that leaves me to this thought: she must be embarrassed to be my girlfriend. She hates hugging or kissing me in front of people she knows. She says "it's showing off" but sometimes, it's polite to give your boyfriend a kiss and/or hug before you're both of contact for the rest of the day.Why is she likes this to me? What have I done that's so horribly evil to her that's made her this way toward me? She says she wants to be with me but never actually acts like it. I just don't get it.. Please help!?
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female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 It's not you, you've done everything to help her and she's done nothing but throw it back in your face. She has problems that she needs to work through alone or with professional help, I understand you want to be there for her but it clearly isn't helping things is it.
You have been thinking of only her for so long now and it's time you started prioritising your own feelings and well-being.
Walking away from her will be tough but I really think it's the best thing you can do for the both of you. It's become habit to her to treat you this way, your relationship is based upon her treating you like crap whenever she needs someone to lash out at and she's become so accustomed to acting this way I doubt she'll ever change.
Take some time alone and when you're ready, find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. You sound like a lovely and caring guy and there is someone better for you out there. Good luck
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