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Why is my friend going all weird on me?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2008)
A female Ireland age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Recently me and my best friend have had an on/off friendship.. he used to fancy me and recently kissed me.. he goes weird and the next minute he wants to kiss me..

I have now met someone new but I still love him. I text him about my graduation and he didn't reply, then I wished him merry christmas and still no reply.

What's going on?? Why is he being weird when he was the one who flirted and kissed me? He said I'm the most amazing girl he's ever met but he's scared to lose me as a friend if we took it further.. as in sex but he does fancy me in that way.

View related questions: best friend, christmas, flirt, text

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A female reader, Ashley Rae United States +, writes (27 December 2008):

Ashley Rae agony auntI have gone through this before. It is a strange thing to see someone that you want to be yours become someone elses. He might be just trying to get some space so that your boyfriend, if he knows about your friends crush, doesnt bug out when the two of you are together. When I went through it my friend backed all the way out of our friendship while I was with someone and anytime I wanted to talk to him or hang out I had to arrange it and it had to be ok with my boyfriend. I know that all the storys are probably different and have their own twist, but no matter how hard your friend trys to push you away because of your boyfriend, if he even trys at all, if you value/valued your relationship and want him to still be there after/if you and your boyfriend break up, do not let him go.

Hope everything figures itself out

Ashley

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 December 2008):

Honeypie agony auntHe didn't go all weird on you. He just got his dreams of the two of you being a couple shattered, when you started dating someone else. He was pretty clearly into you.

Most people don't kiss and fool around with a friend unless they want them to be more then a friend.

Most likely he got his feeling hurt and is trying to get some distance between you two.

Him telling you that he didn't want to ruin your friendship might have been a "test" to see how you felt. If you were mad about him you wouldn't have thought twice about it.

Give him some space, maybe he will start talking to you again.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (25 December 2008):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntbecause he doesn't see this as friendship more of a potential relationship and you have put the lid on it by getting with someone else.

he might have given you all this, blah blah what if it ruins our friendship blah blah, but his dream in his mind was for you to grab him and kiss him. now his dream is squahed like roadkill and although this tiny rabbit can be revived (if you make the effort) it will take some sort of gesture of romance. like maybe dumping your current shqueez?

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