| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Four years ago, my best friend told me he was in love with me. I loved him, and told him so, which was wrong as he was in a relationship with a friend of mine from school. A male friend!I told him to stay with my friend as there was nothing that could happen between us, but I was hurt when he chose to date another guy over me anyway (after breaking up with my friend).Now, 4 years later, I have finally found a nice guy that I am considering seeing as more than a friend. I'm a single Mom and it's been 6 years since my child's father left me - I haven't dated since then.I am scared and excited about this new guy..but my best friend, who is now dying (cancer), is not happy for me. In fact he told me just today that he likes me being single and to not fix what isn't broken. He refuses to show any happiness on my behalf or give any words of support for something that I find very scary (dating again).I cut off contact with him a few years ago and since then my life has become completely different. I don't know if he still has feelings for me...from his comments I think he might. Should I cut off contact with him again? I'm not the same person I was four years ago...I thought he'd be happy and supportive but he's jealous and petty.Is it right to cut off contact?Am I wrong to think he ought to be happy for me considering he chose someone else?Is it possible that he still has feelings for me or is he just behaving this way to make me feel guilty/bad and to have me remain single as a 'safety net' for when/if his current relationship ends?
View related questions:
best friend, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): I personally think its the case that he likes the fact that your always there and you might not be if you got in a new relationship.. you cant put your life on hold for the sake of him not being able to want you to be involved with someone else.. you were happy for him he should show you the same respect.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): I am sorry to hear your best friend is dying of cancer. Please be a supportive, positive friend for him and try hard to ignore his behaviours. You have the right to carry on with your life and if love comes into you life, and you are happy-then stay on track. Yes, he likely has feelings for you but if he is ill, he's likely not in a good frame of mind, to be happy for anyone, let alone your new relationship. Be there as a friend...but don't feel guilt for getting on with your life, dear. Don’t ever let anybody determine how you feel about yourself or what you do in your life to be happy. No one should have that kind of power over you. At this point, your main focus and obligation is your child and your happiness. Take care
Hugs, Irish
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): from your question i would say u seem concerned about what ur friend thinks and want him to share in your happiness. i really wont be bothered if i were u its your life and it is only u who knows what u need not him. dont try to think too much about his hidden intentions that shouldnt bother u really. i dont think u should end ur friendship with your best friend still but If i were u i would stop confinding in him with my relationship issue if i know i cant trust his intentions. turn to other friends for advise and excitement. i hope i was able to help and i wish u lots of happiness with ur new found love everyone deserve to have someone special in their life
...............................
|
