A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm devastated at my father. I'm 26 yrs old and stay with my parents. My parents r both physicians and married almost 28 yrs. My father has been known to cheat with countless women but stiLl takes care Of home. I don't know why my mother stays in the marriage but she seems to b not going any where. I know the women my dad is seeing may be fly by night women but it's hurtful to us. My parents have everything and my mom is beautiful. I don't know why my dad is unfaithful. Recently, I found some pics on my dad's computer of a very young pretty girl. He has been sending her messages telling her how he cares for her. Its the girl who is asking to b left alone. In some of his emails, he is telling her how he wants to make love to her. My dad is 63 yrs old And this girl looks like 22. From the messages, my dad seems to really like her not to mention she is A doctor also. Why does he do this? What makes a man cheat? How come he is not happy with whAt he has at home? We have a huge home, cars, money, and etc.....is there smt missing? My ppl would kill to have what my dad has-I don't get it!
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (4 July 2010):
 There are really two distinct issues here, one is the cheating and one is the making of unwelcome sexual advances to a young girl over whom he may be in some position of authority.
I don't really have any understanding of the second of these issues but I would say that he should be very very careful that he doesn't lose his job. If that girls was to disclose those e.mails that you saw then your father would be in deep deep trouble.
There are many different reasons why men cheat and it is fairly rare that the cheating happens because of some failure or short coming in the wife. In your father's case it seems that the causes are: ego, selfishness, sense of entitlement and the opportunity to do so. Once a man has started cheating and got away with it it is very very hard to stop.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (4 July 2010):
 Money, position, wealth are neither a good substitute for sexual attraction or frankly sexuality.
Its very possible that your parents do love each other, but your mom long ago considered your dad to be sexually faithful and simply relies on him as a husband and caretaker.
Its the old "at least he comes home to me" syndrome. Perhaps your mom doesn't enjoy sex, or perhaps she has someone she sees discretely on the side, and your parents have what's considered an "open marriage".
As to why your dad goes out looking for variety? Some men do that. Is it rational? Not by societal standards.
On the other hand, France probably has more men in marriages doing exactly what your dad is doing, than say the United States.
So it may be something your folks grew to accept.
If you're this worried about it, talk to your folks about it. However, you're older and an adult and so its likely none of your business.
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