A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex fiance broke my heart 9 months ago. We were together for 7 years, best friends, and VERY much in love, but one day he said he had an epiphany and couldn't be with me anymore (his family is very religious). He's 27 and I'm 29. We planned to marry when he finished school but he ended up getting depressed, dropping out, and breaking up with me. He said he needed to grow up, see more of the world, and that he'd always love me. He cried his eyes out, begged me to stay friends with him, said he'd always love me, and then we pretty much went into no contact for 9 months. Oh, and he said there was no one else. There is no evidence to the contrary either since I am still in touch with his mom.9 months later (now), I email him and ask him for my things back (expensive possessions) and tell him I still have some of his. He offers to come over to my place. So we meet and he's very stiff and aloof with me. I hugged him and he stood still and made a face. He told me I look good and almost looked angry and hostile. I was friendly and calm, told him it was nice to see him and thanks for stopping by. He seemed irked. He also forgot one of my games. I told him to mail it to me and he said no, he'll bring it by sometime.My question is, why is HE being so cold to me? I LOVE him. He broke MY heart. So why is HE acting all upset towards me? We had been best friends. I just don't get why it has to be this way. We were so close and now he is acting like a robot, all stuck in his head, treating me like nothingness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): First off I am sorry that you broke up, that is one of the hardest most difficult things to do.
I think he is just not wanting to show you any emotion or attachment because he has made a decision to move on and he wants you to accept his decision. By hugging him and being so nice it kind of feels like pressure to him, he doesn't want you to think he made the wrong decision.
I am sure it was very difficult for him to leave you as well. It sounds like he just had a crisis of commitment and now is not the time in his life to be settled down.
Many relationships end due to bad timing. I would let some of these things go, like your game, you can afford to buy a new one.
It would be really best for you to have no more contact with him and to move on with your life. It is clear that you are still feeling broken hearted so the more you see him and see his resolve to do what he did, it is going to hurt you all over again. Your wanting to see him to get your stuff, is a way to kind of hold onto a thread of this relationship, just in case you can knit it back together again. Stop doing that. Tell him to put it in a box and send it UPS. Anything he forgets, right off to experience.
You will always have your memories of him, but I would also get rid of anything around your house that he gave you or reminds you of him, because whether you realize it or not these things, this stuff can be emotional triggers for you and keep you stuck in the past.
This will not be the last love relationship you will ever have. The quicker you can move on and open your heart to other men, the sooner you will find the next love and he just may be the love of your life, you don't know, you just haven't met him yet.
Let mister somber get on with his day and tell him not to bother with coming buy to return the game, you don't need it, he can have it.
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