A
female
age
36-40,
*alcyondays714
writes:My ex that I dated for 7 months broke up with me about 2 months ago and it wasn't pretty. We live in the same town, but I was away at school so at the time it was long distance. He broke up with me via text messaging telling me he was moving in a month and couldn't do the relationship with that much distance. Time passed by and he never moved, which hurt because when he broke up with me he said how he didn't want to say anything if he wasn't moving and told me when he was sure it was happening. We also work at the same place when I'm back from school. He was supposed to leave to visit a relative during almost the entire time I was home. Now he's staying home. There was a work Xmas party this past weekend and yeah, we were both there. I avoided all contact with him and just had fun with my friends the entire time and ignored him. There were a couple of times where it was awkward, like I heard him use a phrase that I use all the time and at another point he was talking with one guy about a concert that he had seen over the summer...which I happened to be with him at, but whatever. There was at one point where we all had to sign a card and he walked over, said "Here you go, ___" quietly and handed me the card. I just took the card and didn't say anything to him. The party ended with him leaving and saying goodbye to everyone and I said nothing to him.I'm going to go into a little side story to help make the next part make sense. The night before this xmas party, I was out with one of my friends at a bar. It is a pretty relaxed and chill bar and a band was playing there that night. However, it was the same place my friend's ex worked at. Right when we walked in, the owner (a friend of her ex) got in a fight with my friend and kicked her out. We weren't going to stay there without her so we left and went to a different bar, no big deal, no bouncers or anything we just left, that was that.Later that night after the xmas party, I was hanging out with the same friends from the party. While we were hanging out, he texted one of our mutual friends he knew I was with asking him to do him a favor and apologize to me for getting kicked out of the bar last night. He had nothing to do with what happened, but found out about it through someone else (another mutual friend) and apologized for it. I was confused, why does he care when he had nothing to do with it at all and why is he playing telephone through our friend? I ended up texting him because I wasn't putting my friend in the middle of it, saying how my friend got kicked out and I wasn't staying without her, that was all it was. He texted back saying how he knew why she got kicked out and he knew I was with her and he felt bad. I told him how it was just a bar and it was probably for the best since she probably shouldn't have gone there. He said how he could imagine, but either way he was sorry. Any ideas as to why he is doing this? My life is none of his business anymore, why is he apologizing for an incident that had nothing to do with him at all? It looks like it is a lame excuse to try and talk to me, but I have no idea. Does it look like he is trying to be friends, maybe regrets what he did...I don't know. I know I am not over him and I have avoided contact with him for this reason. But I don't understand why he felt the need to apologize out of nowhere for something so trivial that meant nothing. Did my ignoring him and having fun without him get a reaction out of him?I know this looks like a whole heck of a lot of over analyzing and it probably is, but I don't understand why a guy would contact his ex through a friend over something so insignificant. I would really appreciate any input you could give me, thanks!
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female
reader, halcyondays714 +, writes (22 December 2009):
halcyondays714 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the response, I appreciate your interpretation of the situation. It seems like it was just a lame way to get me to talk to him and I fell for it. But I don`t understand if he is just trying to be friends or maybe wants something more. I would be lying if I said I didn`t miss him or what we had, but I also know that I was treated very poorly at the end of our relationship. I know I deserve better than that, but at the same time I still care for him. I don`t want to be the first to contact him or try to get my hopes up for anything because I don`t want to get hurt by him again. I`ll admit, I was in the process of getting over him until he decided to contact me for no reason. Now I don`t know what to think of it. Thanks for your help!
A
female
reader, halcyondays714 +, writes (22 December 2009):
halcyondays714 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the response, I appreciate your interpretation of the situation. It seems like it was just a lame way to get me to talk to him and I fell for it. But I don`t understand if he is just trying to be friends or maybe wants something more. I would be lying if I said I didn`t miss him or what we had, but I also know that I was treated very poorly at the end of our relationship. I know I deserve better than that, but at the same time I still care for him. I don`t want to be the first to contact him or try to get my hopes up for anything because I don`t want to get hurt by him again. I`ll admit, I was in the process of getting over him until he decided to contact me for no reason. Now I don`t know what to think of it. Thanks for your help!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2009): Your ex boyfriend seems to think your moving on as he has seen you having fun and enjoying yourself. It sounds like he misses what you two had and he don't want you to move on.Don't fall for it though, be strong still and move on. This is his way of getting your attention, keeping himself in your mind. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, don't waste your time thinking about him to much.
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