A
male
age
30-35,
*66gayemoboy
writes:my boyfriend used to text me back instantly after i text him then over time it started taking him longer and longer to reply even after school now it takes him between thirty minutes to an hour to reply to each text it really bugs me because we are in a long distance relationship which is hard enough without him barely talking to me this issue is making us fight nonstop and i dont know what to do
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long distance, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 February 2012):
 have you met this boyfriend?
my red flags are waving very very VERY hard right now sweetie...
he can't speak on the phone because he's a mute is one of the oldest tricks in the books used by predators...
A
male
reader, MarlonT  +, writes (28 February 2012):
Mate don't rely on texts. If it's long distance get on-line, use Skype or Facebook so u would both be on at the same time to talk and you know u will have each others full attention for that time. 30 minutes to an hour is nothing some of my mates end up taking 4 days or more to reply sometimes --..--
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A
male
reader, 666gayemoboy +, writes (28 February 2012):
666gayemoboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionumm well im also a guy in answer to the 3rd reply but thank all of you for your advice and again to the 3rd answer um he cant talk hes mute so we cant talk on the phone he has a tagged but doesnt use it so texting is the only way to talk and im totally ok with him not texting at school or work i dont get mad over that id have to be stupid...also i do admit i am probally addicted to texting immediately i dont usually let more than 3 minutes pass without replying to my texts but we finally compromised and the situation is better...by the way i used a mixture of all 3 of the answers and it worked great so thank you so much
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): Maybe he does not constantly carry around his phone? Maybe he is busy?
Perhaps you being so clingy is putting him off.
Give him some air, not everyone is glued to their phone 24/7.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): Ensure you have a enriching life aside from your Text BF. Read, spend time with family, hang with friends - LIVE.
When we are busy, fulfilled, we don't rely on others to fill a 'void' as it then indicates neediness and possibly addiction.
Half and hour to an hour seems fine to me. Especially if he has an enriching life.
I feel, in this ageo of technology, there is a huge over reliance on instant gratification of response time. I don't find it normal or healthy this is a growing trend of expectation.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (28 February 2012):
 There's a few things to consider here, are you two texting when he's busy? Is he working, for example? He might not be able to text at certain times. It's possible he was replying back instantly at the beginning because he was still in the phase of "wooing" you and chasing you, and you two might be at the point where he's toned down the chasing phrase, and is relaxing and slowing down now since you've been dating for a while and he doesn't have to be constantly pursuing you anymore. Or it's possible he is running out of things to talk about and it's hard to keep up. But try not to start fights over it, you might be pushing him away and he might start to think "gee if I talk to her, she's just going to keep bringing up how long it took for me to respond to her." If he can't commit to texting you back instantly, try other ways of staying connected. Set up skype dates, phone dates, share cute and funny things on each other's facebook walls.See how he responds and go from there. He should be receptive to that.
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