A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:know it sounds childish but Need advice to handle this prickly situation...wid my bf..?ok my bf and me have been dating for 10 months...and yes he has some trust issues cos he has been cheated on before.He is pretty quick tempered..and moody at times..For the past week my bf suddenly has become so passive aggressive.He told me off on msn not to message him..shouted shut up too,,I thought he is stressed out or sumthing.But he is talking normally with his friends.Days later I txted him again and he replied "Dont you dare talk to me!!!" I finally called and ask what was the matter and why was he so angry with me...he just said I m mentally not ok I got fever so plz dont talk to me" and he cut the callI havent done anything wrong to have made him angry...he wont tell me the reason..but his friends seem to know something.Yesterday was his bday..I wrote on fb wall Happy Bday..(he wouldnt pick whn I was calling) His best friend wrote on his wall "ooooh look whose wall post is before me...anyways..happy bday dude..Now as far I knw my bf..he always talks about our relationship issues and fights with his best buddy.I just commented..yah I m persistent I finally wished him bday.I knw he has been complaining abt me..to u guys =.="He wrote back.."ooh..he never complains..abt u...Seriously..."My bf later comments "thanks bro..:P:P"Best buddy writes "ooh dont worry dude:P..now be quiet cant u see I m talking"Now I know it all sounds pretty immature way of handling things..but I have tried calling him and talking things over..he changes and makes some excuse to go off.I dont know what to do now cos he is on vacations..I cant talk to him face to face.And now he is completely ignoring my messages...I thought maybe I should message his best buddy on fb and ask whats going on with my bf? I dont really know his best buddy that well....and I dont wanna sound so obessesive..but i thought at least I should get some clue about..the recent anger..Btw..I m 20 my..bf is 22Any advice to handle this situation?
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female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 OK, he's tendentious and can't tell you straight what's bothering him and can't be honest to tell you it's finished. You're humiliating yourself in front of him too much. Having financial issues doesn't make an excuse for his behavior. I think he's a drama queen-male version, honestly. This guy has a very bad influence on you. Plus, he's question your behavior, so basically you have nothing to begin with. There is no trust from his side. So what exactly do you love about this guy?
His behavior will be more and more frustrating for you. But it's your choice to stay with him or not. I know it's easier said than done, but refrain from contacting him ever again. He doesn't want you around, I don't know if he's making jokes about this or simply putting you to a test or taking his frustrations on you, but what I know is that he's rude and disrespectful and you're still young and you can find some other guy who can appreciate your concerns about him.
Stop contacting him. Let him do it in case he needs you with anything. If he does, make yourself unavailable. For good. This will boost your self-confidence. If you stay with him, he will offer you the same old treatment, because you accept it by not leaving him.
The choice is yours anyway. If you choose to continue, hoping that you might save this relationship, you're probably masochist.
No offense or anything, just answer for yourself to these questions: do you like to suffer?
Does it worth to suffer for this guy?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell yesterday night I again tried talking to him..he was againi rude..I asked how he was..and how ws his health..his reply "why DO u want to know?" I said I m just worried..thats all.You were having high fever for a week.
Anyways he later snapped at me again..I asked him why the heck he was mad at me..he had this odd answer "Oh i dont get angry at artificial ppl" finally I lost it and said that dont ever contact me if..i m such a liar..then he goes "you have no idea what problem I m goin thru" I said just trust me..we are in this together.He again goes on that u cannot help me..etc etc finally he told me he was suffering some financial problems and his visa is expiring he might have to leave the country.I told I will help me out even if I had to work part time.He left angrily..saying I hope u are happy now?!! I told you everything now? now can i go pleasE?..I was just hurt..how he was treating me.I still dont know why he is so mean to me.I wasnt flirting with other guys.I m faithful..he has previously accused me of cheating on him.I tried hard to prove my innocence..but he end up lashing his anger out on me..I wish he could be the same person he was..he was months ago..:( I dont want to leave him whn he is in so much trouble..and I just hope..he realises his mistakes..he is being his own worst enemy.:(
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (26 September 2010):
Maybe you've done something wrong and he found out about it? Or maybe he's just having too much free time and he's VERY bored and he's having, oh, so much fun doing this to you. He's kinda pulling your leg, he's not into anything serious with you. A mature person should tell you why they're mad at you (if they HAVE a reason)Maybe he just wants to break up with you, and he's being too coward to talk to you directly. Don't involve other persons in this, you'll make a fool of yourself even more. That friend of him is probably amused by this situation.Your boyfriend is also extremely disrespectful. So instead of thinking how can you humiliate yourself in front of him by calling him or his friend, to get interested in what's happening to him, just move on with your life. You don't want to stay next to someone who can't respect your feelings. You have a life with or without him.If it's just a phase and if he crawls back to you asking you to forgive him, my advice is to return him the same treatment. AKA don't EVER fall for it. Can't you see he's playing games? You're old enough to realize that this guy is a low life. I wouldn't be surprised if he met someone else, while you're banging your head against the walls trying to figure out why he's behaving this way. On the other hand, think of what you've done. Maybe you didn't offer him enough attention, maybe you've been acting cold, maybe you offended him someway. But either way, he just needs to face you. That's not how you treat someone, yelling at them with no (apparently) particular reason. Stop thinking about "tactics of approachability" and for the last time ask him directly "Did I do something wrong?"He's got a few answers: 1. "Yes. You know it better so stop pretending like you don't know what I mean" - in that case, if he's not right, just dump him, you deserve better than a paranoid, insecure guy. But if you think you've flirted with some other guy, he probably found out about it and now he's throwing arrows on you. 2. "No, it's just me, I just need some time alone" - in that case, there's not much you can do but set him free (at least for a while). In this time, you MUST focus on YOU and YOUR life, your activities, your duties, your friends, your pets (if there are any :P)etc.3. "Just leave me alone" - Just leave him alone. There are plenty fishes in the sea, you're young and nothing should stop you from finding another person to appreciate you to your real value. 4. No reply at all - Obviously, he lost interest in this relationship for long time. PS: quit using facebook (or the internet) as a way of solving your relationship problems, a machine doesn't have the same impact like when you talk to someone face to face. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (26 September 2010):
 I would just ignore him til he comes back from vacation, and see where things stand with him. it might be over , for whatever reason, which doesn't sound like such a bad thing since he has such an attitude.
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