A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. It sounds so cliche, but nothing seems happy in my life. I have a loving family, but always feel so distant and lost, I keep all my friends at arms length despite not knowing why. I feel lost, but scared to try anything new. I'm constantly concerned, and worrying and it's really affecting my life and education. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now, and he's extremely difficult, we've had serious hiccups where he's admitted he wants to be with other people, (specifically one girl who tried very hard) which caused huge arguments. Lately he's been very off, after months of being blissfully happy and forgetting the whole other girl incident. I fell to temptation and read some of his messages, which is totally unlike me, but I saw things I wish I hadn't, from the past and present. He seems to really concern himself with her feelings, and never mine. This has really tipped me over the edge, and I don't know what to do. He's not a cruel person at all, but I never seem to confide in him an issue without the resolution being it's simply my paranoia. I really need some advice, or at least opinions on what I'm doing wrong. Thank you very much. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI used to but we argued so much and it never seemed to make a difference, so I tend to just let things drop a lot more now. I've been trying to see more of my old friends which is nice, thanks for all your help though. Nothings ever simple is it?! Xoxox
A
female
reader, alicelovesgeorge +, writes (10 September 2011):
I see exactly what you mean, have you asked him about it upfront? and just try and stay positive, why not hang out with your mates for a bit :) you seem like a lovely girl and i'm sure your 200000x better than she is :) xoxo
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo thank you for your story, its good to hear I'm not the only person who has these worries. I'm just the same, this girl doesn't even have issues (I don't know her well but from what I know), and she's always saying she's lonely and sad, shes ugly, her boyfriends so awful. It seems she wants to be told he'd treat her better. In all honesty I'd be better at confronting things if I wasn't already so down in the dumps, it just seems I give so much to him and get so little back. Friends who are males treat me more like a girlfriend at times! And I'm not against privacy really, but I can also empathise with the whole facebook thing. And the phone thing. I don't appreciate being asked questions and watched, but when you close your computer screen when someone walks in and take your phone to the toilet with you there's obviously something worth hiding. I just hope something I'm doing isn't the cause of all this behaviour from him. Thanks, loves xoxo
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A
female
reader, alicelovesgeorge +, writes (8 September 2011):
hey, I know this reply doesn't exactly help, but I want you to know you're not the only one. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now, and recently found messages from his ex to him. he is the most caring person you could meet, and I think that is partly why I was so upset to find them. she has family issues and when they were dating they could confide in each other to not share secrets, as in any relationship.. however she still holds that trust for him and tells him everything. sometimes I fell like she's doing it to get compliments, especially when its stuff like 'ik fat' or 'im ugly' because she knows he will say 'no your not' or 'no your pretty' - this is why I get upset. I spent a whole night crying about it because at first when we were on his facebook he wouldn't let me see the messages, so I got incredibly insecure and thought of all the worse sitations, including him loving her again. I know this hasn't helped but I thought id just like to share my story. much love xox
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