A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Sex Text question? I have been with my LD BF for just over 6 months- we meet up every month or so and have a great time together. A few weeks ago he mentioned to me that sex was no longer the most important thing to him and that just being with me was. This I thought was a realtionship turning point:) as I know his previous relationship with a much older woman (also LD and lastin 8 yrs) was purley based on sex and conveniance. Now I know that texting slows down from the beginning of a relationship as you begin to grow and settle a little with each other. But we used to have really good sex texts. I like this as we are so far away. I enjoy telling him that I want him and how etc.. as well as the romance and reality of the relationship. At the beginning he would reply to these and when we first met he confessed himself as being quite dirty ( he likes me to wear heels and something nice in bed, talk dirty etc.) But since he told me that sex was no longer number 1 this seems to have drifted away. He is no longer really dirty or replies to my sex texts etc. When we are in bed he always makes love to me now he is not dirty ever! ( however he still likes me to wear heels lol) We used to be in bed all weekend but the last time we met we made love in the evening. I made breakfast and thought we would go back to bed as we had done before in previous occasions, but he said he wasnt that fussed. He likes being with me and going places together, sharing things together. I asked him last night why he didnt reply to my sex texts, he said it was because he was embaressed to? Why when he was so dirty before? I dont get this at all. I like that our relationship is growing but not that he is embarassed. My best gf thinks perhaps because he doesnt see me just a sex thing anymore and the dirtiness goes with someone casual and this means more now. She thinks he respects me more now. I wonder wether its becuase he dosent find me as sexy as he did before or is texting someone else.What do you guys think?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 October 2011):
 Maybe in his past he has been dirty with other but hasn't loved them and now he is struggling to associate love with sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe already has. He has asked if I would mind if he moved to be near me. Don't get me wrong it's not like it was all the time before. But he used to use dirty talk like slut and whore etc ... He replies but not the same not as dirty or with a 'yes please'.
I asked him today and he said he wants to love me. Not just have sex with me. And to him that's just sex not love
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 October 2011):
Just because he is more serious with you now doesn't mean he should just change his personality completely. I would be quite concerned about this now especially because it is a long distance relationship. For him to say he is embarressed after doing it in the past, well am sorry but I don't buy it for one minute there is something more to this in my opinion, yet I might be wrong. Can you say you honestly trust him when you are not with him that he is being completely faithful? His last relationship was long distance as well it seems to me like he might like living the single life and he ventures out to secure long distant relationships so that he still can lead a life that he can do what he wants and not have to worry about it. You need to talk to him about this sudden change and ask him why. If he is really serious about you and this is all a big misunderstanding well then maybe suggest that you move closer to each other and see how he reacts to that, you will soon have your answer then!
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