A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiWhy is it in relationships....99% of the times, it is the woman who has to inititate the communication.It is said that men are different from women..they are not as emotional and don't spend half the amount of time as we wommen do, dwelling on the breakup, how the woman feels, should I call or not call. This is just not in a man's psyche. It doesn't eat them up at all or so it appears to me at least.Guys, if you have broken up with someone who you truly considered more as a very good friend (and you have told her that you will all treasure the friendship) and you really do not want to lose her, would you initiate contact with her or would you wait for her to call and then tell her how you missed her so much etc?...or were all the words he used to tell you, all the best friend e-mails and cards were jus lies and the woman never really ever meant anything to him or not as much as he claimed.
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male
reader, EpeeGuy  +, writes (14 September 2009):
Yeah, ok, as a guy who recently went through a breakup where the woman claimed she still loved me, that I might even be the one, but she wasnt sure I was the one, and was scard, so that was why she couldnt continue.Well, some serious things went down after the split, we still managed to (at least I thought) maintain cordial terms, and she was even crying when she picked up her stuff at my house, and basically sent a whole lot of signals that she missed me.Now, I am the one sitting here finally starting to get over her, she was in a new relationship with a new boyfriend about 5 weeks after we split. Been just over 3 months since then.My point is, let's not generalize women are more affected, etc. Every person deals with these things in their own way. As far as being the guy and initiating contact, I did try, to see if we would still be friends, and I got no response at all. So yes, as a guy, I am now attempting to move on, but yes, I would still love for her to contact me, though I believe it will never happen.I was also told by a therapist I visited, that once a man gets truly commited, in several studies, it has been shown that a man actually holds on more deeply than the woman, he gave me reasons, but I can not remember them at this point.As far as cards, emails, etc.. He probably absolutely did love you, may even still, but it doesn't always mean that things will ever be the way you want them, no matter what it is you want.
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Men have been trained by women we kno that begging crying and calling doesnt bring them back,usually, Just about every guy has been in that situation should i cal should i wait till she calls. the guy usually waits because the girl usually calls,also its often easier for a guy to separate his emotions from the reality of the situation he says well its time to move on much easier then a female would.
Sex usually is not equated to love for guys so while the girl is crying on her best friends shoulder or stuffing her face with rock road the guy is out having a one night stand then once he realizes he can get the sex without the drama he has less of a reason to call.
If a guy says he loves you he probably meant it and guys do dwell on the break up but they usually find a way to put it out of their mind. suggest you move on from this relation ship you broke up for a reason. If a girl broke up with me i wouldnt go crawling back no matter how much i cared about her.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 As a woman, I do not find that women inititate all contact.Sometimes, when a person (male or female) is not in as regular communication, it means they have entered into a busy period in their lives.Since you are no longer a couple, he doesn't owe it to you to be in regular contact. I presume he cared about you and still does, but he has a life outside of you now.I recommend you try moving on yourself. You will find this much more rewarding. Trust me.;-)
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