A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I never claimed to understand women, but this woman is really taking the cake. I am hoping some Agony Aunts can let me know what is going on or they have seen or experienced this before.Basically, this one girl I know has driven me nuts for a long time. She has acted entitled, makes plans only to cancel at the last minute or always be late or never be where she is supposed to be (like she said once to meet her at her apartment, and when I got there and rang her, turns out she was all the way downtown and asked if I could meet her there).Anyway, I stopped contacting her and I stopped returning her calls. When she emailed, I would wait a while--a couple days--before writing back.At first she was angry, but I emailed her that I was tired of playing games. Then the strange thing happened: she began calling me every day or every other day, even though I stopped calling her back. She texts me, "Can we get together?" even though I do not return her texts. And she acts like there is nothing wrong!Basically, it seems the more cruel I am in ignoring her, the more responsive she is!!I was always taught to be respectful and courteous to people. But when I was nice to her, she walked all over me. Now that I am acting like a cold bastard, she chases me more and SHE is the one that is acting like a doormat!I admit I feel a little perverse pleasure at the tables finally turning, but I also hate acting like this to another person--even if she seems to respect me more for it.I am wondering:--Why is she responding to my ignoring her more than when I paid her attention?--Is this normal for women or is it only crazy women who act like this?--Do women really like men to act like jerks because it makes the men seem more desirable? Should I change my approach then and become more jerk-like?Thank you very much!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 I wouldn't necessarily say she respects you more, she's just missing the attention you used to give her. She took it for granted and now she's basically trying to win you over again. This girl is definitely a little more crazy than most, but as the saying goes, 'you don't know what you've got until you've lost it'. Women don't like men that hang on their every word or open up too much too soon, they like men that have their own lives, respect themselves and are independent. This doesn't mean you should act like a jerk and blow girls off or disrespect them, they'll eventually get tired of it and move on. Instead, you need to keep a little bit of distance in order to keep a woman interested. Do nice things for her, but don't go overboard. Ever notice that the more mysterious something is, the more you want to know about it? This applies to people, too. The less you know about a person the more interesting they are, right?
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