A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that society now seems to make it acceptable and even encourage the belittling of men? Adverts and media constantly portray the male figure as being pathetic and never in control and sex mad. It is even worse that mocking and belittling men in terms of sexuality is so rife and not frowned upon in everyday life. Images of men being hit in the testicles are often put as comedic situations in programmes and the genital size is the most obvious descrimination against men. its not like women can compare it to men looking at breast size because all breast sizes are generally accepted but penis are not only for asthetic value, they also determine a womens view of his ability to please and his masculinity. It is a horrible thing for a men to have to go through if they have to constantly be aware of being judged not only by the horrible females out there but the nicer ones will always be doing the same (even if it isn't quite as verbalised as some women) as it is accepted in the media and therefore by society today. It is an incredibilty degrading and upsetting thing for a man to go through even if he is well endowed and it is something that is in the back of some mens minds constantly- a socially encourage complex in some ways and it can't be healthy! there would be no acceptance of a man judging a womans naked body and even though it does happen from some childish people, the link between appearance and sexual prowess is far less between genders. and if a woman well to be harshly kicked in the groin...it would be looked upon as disgraceful abuse not acceptable humour. I was watching tv with my gf the other day and they brutally castrated a calf while still conscious and cooked the testicles, they then went on to joke about the size of the calfs testicles and how some were too small....!!!! my gf was laughing her head off and i was just looking in disgust! this also happened with the film teeth that my gf made me watch (please do not watch this digusting film) about a girl that has teeth in her vagina that castrate men...(imagine a film about a penis with razor blades on it or something...it wouldn't have been so readily acceptable) I tried explaining how i felt to my gf but she said that i had nothing to worry about in that department so why did it matter but she just couldn't see the point that it upsets me that it's the male species as a whole that has so much pressure on them to be something and do things relating to things they can't control such as body parts and they are made to feel insecure and bad because of this! It just seems men are being turned more and more into a joke in some very dark and twisted ways, but people seem to find cruelty and degradation acceptable, encouragable and humourous especially in the form of demasculation. Do you agree with me? Is it something that all women are like (and naive men to a certain extent) and is this the way they all think? could this be something that i am in danger of getting a complex about or is it a reality in your opinions?(i'm fully aware that i'm probsbly thinking about this too much- i always do think too much) but is it something i am just imagining or is society making male sexuality nothing but something to laugh, scorn and joke it with no concern for the person or people being bullied by this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for replying to this! Great detailed answers and you both have very interesting and valid things to say :) with regards to gender enforced stereotypes on the body i still do think however that it is more the fact penis' are emphasised as the main attribute for a successful and satisfactory inter-gender sexual encounter whereas the comparison for breasts lies more on a purely aesthitic stereotype, this is the only reason regarding sexuality as to why i think men have it harder on an individual basis in terms of sexuality and the internal problems this can cause, but i am in no way implying that women have it easier overall and completely concur to the notion that sterotypes in general can be equally degrading and harmful to both sexes. I think everything that has been said in these posts about and against these sterotypes for both women and men and the sterotypes that society is wrongly enforcing on our childrens impressionable minds is true and i hope there wasn't too much implication on 'a male feeling hard done by' in my post. It was more of a stream of thought rambling and slight despair at how i am seeing the world. I suppose i have to face the fact however that it is probably me that has more of a problem than society. i used to be very 'take it is it comes' and easy going but i find myself hindered over worries created by those around me and am becoming increasing insecure about these issues that have been around as you say since the beginning of time. Maybe it is because i am in a reletively new relationship and it is my first real relationship and yet these feelings are being emphasised by those i love around me as opposed to being quashed and i am feeling less and less myself and more that i am becoming the very joke i dissaprove of so much! oh well, i guess society will never change, and i shouldn't expect people that i love to change purely for my benefit just because i believe it so. I guess i will have to find a way to get over it and move on! I do wonder however if others are actually believing everything they see, hear and say or wether like you and i they can actually see that people are individuals and not part of a mindless mass...? i really hope it is the latter!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): Honestly I think you are over thinking this. You do realize that there are expectations on both males and females since the dawn of civilization? Social gender roles have changed with ever culture over time.
And News Flash. Women are judged by their breast size. The bigger the better. Not all breasts are accepted and women who are flat do get cruelly laughed at, placed at the butt of every joke and somehow have been convinced that if they dont have large breasts they are not complete women and will never attract a mate. That I also think is sick and sad. Have you ever noticed that in ever comedy movie as well huge breasts are normally on a hot dumb blonde? Comedies are what I would also like to class as extremes instances of life that conform to every social stereotyping known to the human species. Jews are portrayed as wanting to always make money with funny hats and curly dreds, nearly all Jamaicans are potheads, Africans wear nearly no clothes and savage, English are stuck up and uptight, Woman are loud shop-a-holics with no sense of impulse control, men are brash and not particularly the smartest tool in the shed. Sexual interaction between the two sexes gone wrong is everyones worst nightmare and those scenarios, when the happen to other people, are funny. No one advocates men getting hit in the testicles, but when a baby accidentally kicks a man, cause that scenario I know has happen to many a man, is funny. Its the fact the man has to control himself, not show rage to the child, or tries to show male bravado to "walk it off" as if it didn't hurt. This is the crux and duality for men. They are supposed to be the ones who can tolerate the pain. Pain is not supposed to matter to them when we the audience know full rightly that that is bullshit.
And dont get me started on the duality women in society have to play. Being pretty much everything at once I am surprised not a whole lot more women have personality complex issues. We need to be smart, but not too smart(otherwise we are seen as bitches), Sexy, but innocent(otherwise we get called whores), confident, but timid(otherwise we are considered too impulsive), Independent yet willing to sacrifice it to conform(otherwise we are considered domineering).
Now paint me stupid on this, but a women, when she is in the corperate business world is known as a man eater and a bitch. Why? Because she has sacrificed her femininity to play with "the big boys." They automatically assume women as weak and when you get a strong female she no longer is female or considered attractive. Its rather disingenuous for you to think men are the only ones who have it bad. Both have had silly stereotypes placed on them by the people who allow those stereotypes to be prominent. Ignore them and they become meaningless.
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