A
female
age
41-50,
*azzie1
writes:I have a question to ask..why is it that every time I say I am leaving a violent short tempered manipulative man I end up wondering why he hasn't called. I know this man is no good for me especially cuz I have 2 boys ages 8 and 15. I feel like I have very low self-esteem which I never had until I met him who I've been with off and on for 4yrs..from trying to choke me twice and has done other things. I always start feeling lonely and give in..how can I move on..I live on my own and have a great it's not like I need him but it's like every time I have opportunity's with men I always find an excuse that I'm coming out of a relationship or there gonna all be full of crap..how can I make myself believe that there are good men out there and that there not all liars..I feel that I might as well settle so I don't need to start all over again and I'm only 34 it's not like I'm an old lady. I am such a good person but I feel he has made me believe that I'm this mean human being. He always said the reason why he gets frustrated it is cuz of me cuz I don't know how to respect..I can't believe I have allowed this person to do so much damage to me. Do you think I can actually build my self esteem and move forward..I even started to go to church with my boys to see if I can find god. I just hope it will get better, it's such a horrible feeling of feeling like your not worth it..but I have to stay strong. I actually booked an appt. to see a physcologist so I can have someone to talk to..please give me some advice any would help..have a great weekend.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 October 2009):
Well thank God you're seeing a therapist, because that was going to be my first bit of advice. Appalling men like this crush a woman's self esteem to the point where a woman feels as though she needs him. That's what he's done to you. He's destroyed your confidence so much, in your mind, you think you need him. You do not at all! Never take this guy back if you want to see your boys have children, because he will kill you. Sorry to sound blunt, but there it is. It's great that you're seeing a therapist, that's a brilliant start. You can build up your self esteem :). But it will take time. Give yourself time. You're better off without him, and you don't need him. Good luck.
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