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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Why is it so wrong to be a bit insecure?It seems like it's a crime if a female is insecure. "Dump her, she's too insecure". Usually that's what people advise when someone feels insecure.Yesterday I was watching TV with my boyfriend and a lot of stereotypical "hot" women were shown in tiny bikins in ads, or shows, with not much to say, just to show off their stuff. Guys? They all looked plain, yet they were the cool ones.I got insecure and he got upset that I'd make a big deal out of nothing. Oh but how can't I? If everyday we're bombarded with images like these and then we're supposed to feel super secure in our less than perfect bodies? Give me a break, I'm not made of steel, of course I'm gonna feel insecure. If I'm gonna have to accept that men have a right to look at these women, then they better accept that I feel insecure. It's only natural and I can't help it.Really, why is it such a crime to feel insecure every now and then? Of course not psycho-insecure, but just a little insecure every now and then. People can accept a lot of natural things (like checking out "hot" women), yet being a tad insecure is unacceptable.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chrissy121005  +, writes (11 January 2009):
i am talking to my boyfriend right now, and i asked him if he had and insucureites and he said no, but asked me if i had any, and i told him that i didnt think i was always prety and somthing else, that i dont want to mention, but he told he that i was beautiful and the other thing, he complimented it.
so maybe ladies, if he start talking to are men about are insurcueties, maybe we would see that they dont NEED a porn star fake women, they will suport us and make us feel better of ourselves
A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (7 January 2009):
 There is nothing wrong with being insecure with yourself now and then its actually normal. You should not feel insecure if your boy friend looks at these comercials because its natural, don't let that lower your self esteem.
After all that's why he is with you and if he is not happy with your body then he should find somebody else. Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): I did not know it was a crime to be insecure or that it was grounds for dumping someone, that is news to me.
Instead of feeling bad about your own body when some brainless half naked hot women are on the tube and your boyfriend sits next to you and oggles them, turn to him and ask if he has anything better to do or to talk to you about than to stare at some bimbos on TV? If he doesnt switch the chanel right then, then he is a nimrod.
Instead of acting insecure, act a bit angry, because that is what you are really feeling at that moment, anger, so share it with him honestly and he will find you just as sexy if not more so than the stupid women coming bigger than lifesize accross the screen.
He is being a bit rude but he is being a guy non the less, they are visual creatures. Think of it as his adult cartoon, men are all still boys, somebodys son, somebodys kid and so are you.
Just pass it off as marketing....those shows are geared towards 13 year old boys with some cash to spend on what is advertised during the show....nothing more.
Any guy worth his salt is not looking for that, he is looking for you an amazing real life girl with a brain in her head, a backbone and some self respect and she will set boundaries, healthy ones with her boyfriend in what she will not and will accept from him in their relationship, and that is what you are doing when you tell him you are not exactly feeling the love at that time.
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