A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I just came on here wondering what the meaning of my situation is and whether or not there is still a chance of a continued relationship here. So, here it goes: Throughout the summer, I started dating this guy we'll call 'Bob', everything was going well and we met eachother's parents and that was all good also, and we hung out a lot and were totally comfortable with eachother. There were no problems between our separate friend groups - we often went out for group hangouts and movies. As the fall came around, we started out at a new University and we have a class together and we sit together. So far though, Bob has been joining multiple clubs and joined a fraternity in which he goes to parties etc. Everything was going fine until the next couple of weeks when everythign strarted to get hazy. I was confused as to if he still liked me or not and worried that maybe he met someone else or whatnot. We went from texting almost everyday to not so much, I would have to be the initiator.. I told him that I thought we needed to talk so that we could discover what was going on and I wanted to know how he really felt so that I wouldn't be just strung along. He responded with "I don't think there are any problems, and we dont need to talk about anything" but no matter what, things went back to the confusing ways and I just didn't understand what was happening. So a week later, I insisted that we should talk and insured him that it was nothing bad if that was what possibly worried him. He said that he knew this and it was just the fact that he felt awkward in situations like that so he didn't want to confront them. But eventually he agreed to meet me the next day. When i would ask if he was going to meet me he would ignore me and avoid me by not answering his phone or replying to my text. Later that night though, I decided it would be for the better if I told him that either we talk about it if he wants to be with or if he doesn't, then he doesn't have to talk about it. He came out with " I think maybe we are better off being just friends right now, i'm not really looking to be committed to anyone right now because I am just too busy right now. So that's fine, nothing to get mad about, if that's how he really feels, then I can't MAKE him stay with me right? Anyway, that part isnt the problem, it's just the fact that in class we still sit beside eachother and talk and it's like before, completely confortable and normal and it feels exactly like how it did when we were dating. After class he even invited me to go for lunch with him and asked if he could sit with me in the library to study. Another thing, it seems as if he tries to make me jealous or something because if i'm walking with him and another one of our friends, they'll be saying oh so and so was hott today or whatever, and then Bob will respond with oh yeah! she was sooo hott! only he will feel the need to say this louder possibly in hoper of making sure that I know this... ? and after he says this he will watch what expressions i make and wait for my reaction and comment on my facial expressions (roll eyes, etc).. My question is: What is the meaning of this?! is there any chance for us to get back together as i still really have a thing for him? (Sorry about the long post! I really appreciate this!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): You should both just grow up and mature. As for now: enjoy being friends and learn how to deal with people from the opposite sex without trying to "spite"; being jealous and immature.
You don't have to put up or accept his behavior if you don't like it; so make your choice.
LIFE is full of choices.
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