A
female
age
41-50,
*a23
writes:I met my boyfriend on an online dating site two months ago. Things have been going really well and until now I had absolutely no doubts about our relationship. However last week through sheer curiosuty I discovered he is still using his online dating account on a daily basis (which he told me he had deleted) The profile is a different one without a photo but I am in absolute no doubt that it is him as the details on it are pretty specific. He denied all knowledge when I spoke to him, and fought pretty hard for me not to break up with him. We've agreed to put it behind us, but the truth is I can't get it out of my head and I've noticed even after the huge argument... he still continues to log into that site every day!He's swore blind that I'm the only one he's interested in and that he has strong feelings for me.But now I have all these niggly doubts in my head about what he's really playing at.What really gets me is that he's acted really keen since day 1 and said and done things that have made me think this relationship actually might go somewhere. So why is he still messing about online? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, La23 +, writes (28 January 2009):
La23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for the quick replies!well he insists it isnt his profile and without hard evidence i.e. a picture or name on it, i agreed to drop the subject for fear of sounding like an obsessive bunny boiler.im absolutely sure its his though. the reason i havent ended things is because everything was going so well! i'm usually a very good judge of character, and can spot a player a mile off. i've never had that feeling with him- he's always telling me how much he thinks of me, cant wait to see me etc etc.i think id be happy to see the profile deleted at some point in the next week or two.. or at least no activity on it (yes i am checking!) Do u think guys just dont see chatting to other women online as a big deal? or maybe he was insecure, not sure how i felt about him and thought he's hedge his bets?
A
female
reader, cloverflower  +, writes (28 January 2009):
Interesting! This almost exact situation happened to me. I also met a guy on an online dating site two months ago, and things have been going well since. I saw, however, that his profile was still up (and logged onto daily) approximately a week ago. However, upon confronting him he assured me I had no reason to be worried and deleted his account. Two pieces of advice I'll pass on to you based on my past/current dating experience (I've had quite a few boyfriends in the past and have dealt with ALL kinds of crap!): 1, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT INSTINCT. If you suspect something is going on, it most likely is; and 2, Give him an ultimatum: the profile goes down, or you're gone. Tell him that you want to trust him, but he needs to give you a REASON to trust him.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (28 January 2009):
 Oh dear,Well since I give it straight as I see it....The guy is going to continue this against your protests whether you like it or not. I myself...if you read one of the articles I posted here last year, had been in a similar suituation. I can only say that since two months have passed, that you need to examine whether the games that are being played are worth it to you. I cant answer that for you. BUT....I can say that after only two months you already have a view as to how this is going to be. Get rid of the bum and find someone who will respect you. He wont.
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