A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my bf for 10yrs. now and we've recently been having problems. The situation has been resolved, but now he's looking at porn. I don't know if I should be offended or not. I know he's looking at it, but i can't tell him how I know. He thinks he covers his tracks by restarting the pc, and clearing the history, but I have another way to see what he's doing online. I ask him if he is still attracted to me and he assures me that he is. I don't look like I did 10yrs. ago. Why is he lying to me?
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male
reader, wildman +, writes (30 April 2008):
 glad to hear you both are working on it. I think it will all work out fine. good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments. We talked about it and he finally admited to it. We are woriing towards it all being over for good. I don't know if it will right away,but it's a start.
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A
male
reader, wildman +, writes (28 April 2008):
Why do you worry about it so much. Let hime explore it and he will get over it at some point and move on to doing other things.Don't let porn be an obssesion for you, just ignore him or find something else to do until it blows over which it will. good luck, I had an addiction but gradually it becomes sort of a bore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHIS IS FOR THE WOMAN WHO WANTED TO KNOW HOW TO CHECK THE DELETED HISTORY......[edit] StepsThe easy and quick way to restore file and activity History is the System Restore feature. Since much history is saved into the Windows Registry, restoring it to a previous state will restore file and program History.
Click the Start button in XP, then choose Help & Support. On the resulting blue screen find the option Undo changes to your computer with System Restore.
Choose a date you would like the computer reverted to (see warnings.)
Enjoy restored History.
But the story doesn't stop here! Perhaps System Restore was disabled by a user, or it is inappropriate to use it (see warnings). Well, let's try another tactic. There are lesser known log files that Windows keeps, which are independent of both the Registry and individual Program logs. They are called "index.dat" files. Use the Windows Search Tool to find all occurrences of "index.dat" on your C: drive.
On XP, click Start, and Search, then For Files & Folders, and All Files & Folders, now enter "index.dat" in the Filename field. Before searching:
Limit the search to C: drive using the Look In drop-down.
Check the following options using the More Advanced Options line:
Search System Files
Search Hidden Files & Folders
Search Subfolders
Click printscreen.
Be amazed at how many "index.dat" files there are.
Minimize the Search Results window.
You need a tool to read the index.dat files. They are NOT text files.
Super WinSpy is one such reader. Or search Google for "index.bat reader". (Right-click on the Google link and select Open in New Window).
Download the software, check it for viruses (as you do for all downloads) and install it. Start the program. You can enjoy different Histories, using the button provided.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor yooour information, I'm not lazy in bed. That was a stupid thing to say to a woman who is asking for solid advise. I did ask him about it and he just continues to lie. I know he's looking at it because I have a pc monitoring program on here that he knows nothing about, so it's not me wondering, I know for sure. To the other writer, where can I find some of the sites for women? lol
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): I think in most cases guys look at porn because their partner is very lazy in bed. My wife bascially just spreds her legs and refuses to do anything else. So sex becomes very dull and I've turned to porn for some excitement.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): He is keeping it from you because he knows that you will be hurt and that's not something he wants to do to you. As long as your relationship and sex life is still solid, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Unfortunately this is a perfectly normal thing for men to do, but if it bothers you this much you need to talk to him about it. You don't have to tell him that you know for sure, but you suspect. See what he says. If he continues to lie or you are not satisfied with his answers, you can give him a dose of his own medicine. Put some porn for woman on the computer for him to see that you've been watching and see how he likes it and reacts to it. Hope this helped you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnonymous writer. If he has deleted the history, you have to be clever. Go to the address bar and start with a and go to z. Whatever sites that have been viewed should show up on there. I could give you more info if you show your user name. I know it's hard to deal with. I'm new to this site or else I would have shown my name as well. How do I make myself known?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I have the same issue with my partner- ho do you find his erased history? I'd like to know so that I can catch my husband..... thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS. I HAVE TALKED TO HIM ABOUT THIS, BUT I CAN'T TELL HIM HOW I KNOW THAT HE IS STILL LOOKING AT IT. WE'VE HAD SOME TRUST ISSUES AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK HE CAN'T TRUST ME, BUT I AM FINDING IT HARD TO TRUST HIS WORDS, BECAUSE HE LIES ABOUT LOOKING AT IT. IT HASN'T COME INTO OUR BEDROOM, BUT I FEEL LIKE HE HAS TO LOOK AT IT TO BE WITH ME INTIMATELY..AM I CRAZY?
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Hi,
I think he may be hiding it from you simply for the fact that you would react like you are now. He knows you very well.
I would suggest to take action only if it starts to affect your sex life. Then you should tell him that he has to choose. Otherwise its relatively harmless and he isnt comparing the girls in the porn sites to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): If you want to preserve your self esteem tell him to coose...what may seem okay now will change if you have a future with this guy believe me..say you dare to get older or your body changes after babies ...how do you think you will feel if he is still wanking to 20yr olds???
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): If you have a good, enjoyable relationship, don't worry about it. We can't all stay young forever. Since he does like porn, why not use it in your relationship? Suggest renting a porn video and making out while it's on.What matters is that you both want to stay together and enjoy each other.
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A
female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (22 April 2008):
 He might be embarassed or maybe he fears that it will hurt you. The thing that he doesnt know is that him lying to you hurts you more than him looking at porn. Or thats at least how I see it. I think he either is lying to protect himself or protect you, either way, this is probably something you should talk about with him. Its better to be open to each other than keep unecessary secrets. However, whether or not you should be offended is not a question I can answer. How you feel about it, is how you feel. No one can tell you what is right or wrong in that matter. The important thing is that you two can talk about this with an open mind.
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