A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Does making someone jealous work generally as in they will show their feelings or come forward quicker if they think someone else is interested in you.I wouldnt usually be into games like that but a friend of mine who iv been talking to nearly every day the last few months has suddeny started going from very very hot to very cold a couple of times and im sick of it now. Just want him to make an actual move instead of just texting, or just forget about it altogether.So if he thinks someome else is interested might it make him come forward quicker, or how can i judge his interest in me.While texting we have talked of meeting up but never actually arranged a date or time etc. So im not sure if he just hasnt got the balls to go for it with me or if he needs me to make the moves. I know he has had a thing for me for yrs and i only started looking at him like that the last couple of months.So why does he go from hot to cold. and will a small bit of jealousy make him do something about us or what will? thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 April 2013):
 Jealousy is not an emotion I want my partner to exhibit. Jealousy is not based on love, but rather is a manifestation of the jealous person’s insecurity about themselves and the relationship.
IF there is a guy you like as more than a friend and he’s not making the move, why don’t you do it?
Playing games to get his attention is never a good idea.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 April 2013):
 My guess is it would probably backfire. Playing games is rarely a good idea.
Like the other posters said, why don't YOU make the first move?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): Why must he make the move? Why don't you take a leap and make a move yourself?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 April 2013):
It could also push him away do I wouldn't recommend it.
Why don't you make a move instead of relying on him?
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (23 April 2013):
 For some people, their drive is fueled by competition, and for others they withdraw because they don't like the idea of scoring. It took him a long time to suggest meeting up. He feels he doesn't deserve you and is afraid of rejection, or screwing up on a date. A guy like him would probably get colder if you try to make him jealous.
You have known him for years, so you know what you like and don't like about him. Do you just want him to make a move because you are sick of games, or do you really see yourself in a relationship with him?
If you like his personality despite being shy, how about you arrange a date and get to know him even better? Doesn't have to sound like an official date. Just meeting for coffee is very casual and without pressure.
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