A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been messing with an attached guy (not married) that I've tried to end it with, but haven't done it yet. I informed his gf... but she forgave him, and told me I wasn't the first.He still continues to call... I ignored him for 2 weeks (calls) and he left messages the whole time saying he's worried about me and wants to make sure I'm ok...I don't know what's wrong with this guy... it's not like he's a spring chicken... he's 40 (11 years my senior). You would think after getting caught and gaining your gf's trust back that he would honor his relationship... mind you the gf found out on v-day 2009.. and he was calling and at my house the immediate next day.At first I thought he may just be using me for sex... but we don't even have sex every time we meet. We play cards, watch movies, talk, etc...The last time I was with him he told me he won't be with her forever... I asked him his goals and he said to get his own place...What do you guys think of this scenario? I've been seeing this guy for 10 months. I just wanted some fun at first then I (stupid...lol) developed feelings for him. I'm wondering why is he continuing to pursue me... if I'm just a fling, or the "other woman"???Why doesn't he just let me go... and have a nice life with his longterm gf????? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): i can't answer your question but i can understand exactly where you're coming from. i'm seeing an older guy who doesnt want to end it with his girlfriend nor me. But love, WELL DONE FOR WANTING TO END IT.you just need to unattach yourself slowly. its hard i know. its easier when you aren't so intimate with someone. hes probably beautiful, an amazing guy and such but if he doesn't want to be with you (and ONLY YOU) then HE IS NOT WORTH IT- he is not pulling his weight whatsoever!Every woman deserves a man who loves only her. Its also tricky with telling the girlfriend that hes still in contact because she may act a little childish and say your just making it worse by mentioning it again. but other ways, she might take it better and finally dump him.However if this happens, you need to be prepared.he will probably run after you because hes lost her (thats if he doesn't beg for her back that is).You can do this though. you can get over him. i know you can't help how you feel for someone, but you can slowly unattach yourself and try your hardest to get over him. it will pay off and work.i hope i've helped :) xox
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks...all...for your responses...no he doesn't have any children with her...i think overall, im just going to have to completely cut him off, for her sake...she did ask me to "not answer his calls" and i've tried to honor her suggestion...but the fact is i have feelings for him as well...my needs are NOT being met and im confident in time this will all end...thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Id tell his gf again that it has and still is continuing on. she has a rite to no.does this man have kids with her? maybe thats why he hasnt made his choice on what he wants. hes to old 2 be playing games.and his gf needs 2 be told so she can dump him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Does this gf no whats going on, that he and u are still in touch? does he have kids with her? if he does maybe thats why he still with her.maybe u ought 2 tell her again whats happening,surely she would dump him and not forgive him this time. if she knew
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A
female
reader, crimson_kiss +, writes (22 April 2009):
 Just tell him that you can't handle being the "other woman". I applaud you for even wanting to end it in the first place. I have seen some women just continue with the guy even KNOWING he was in a relationship. This shows you have morals and I am impressed.
He is not letting you go because you are the FALL BACK in case he does get caught and thrown out on his ass!!! He is happy leading this double life and you are allowing it.
I have never been the "other woman", however With my experience its all about HIM, he is feeling like king with mor than one woman wanting him. Walk away, you are actually hurting his longterm gf, cause when she finds out (and she will) she will want to know how this could have happened. Are you going to stand there and say you had no idea? That wouldn't be truthful.
If he can leave this longterm gf, think about this...can you really trust this guy to be faithful to YOU?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): I think it's completely natural. But if you don't like him tell him to stop stalking you. If you like him, then why not be with him.
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