A
female
age
30-35,
*atx3
writes:So i've been talking to this for about 5 months now, he goes to college in a different state so it's more of a long distance relationship but he comes up and visits a lot. He's asked me to be his girlfriend plenty of times over text and every time I said no for two reasons, one because texting is the lamest way to ask someone, and two because i knew that he wasn't ready for a commitment judging from what hes told me about his last relationship.This week he came up and he introduced me to his best friend and his best friends wife, everything was going great. and hes friend brought up the fact about how many times i've turned him down, and then he finally asked me in person and i asked him if he was sure thats what he wanted and he said yes, so i said yes as well. That night was perfect, he was so happy that i said yes and he seemed so excited. His best friend the next day sent me a message and told me how he was happy and how my boyfriend was so excited.Then two days later, and he starts completely distancing himself. Next thing i know i get a text from him which says "are you sure this is something we can handle, because i'm gonna be going away to college and idk if i can wait another two weeks to see you. can i have your opinion?" This did not go well with me. I was in a really bad 2 year relationship where i let the guy walk all over me and let everything slide by with ease, but after that i completely changed and i no longer put up with bs. Long story short with the argument we had over the text, I ended things with him because i need someone who knows what he wants and is gonna be confident in the relationship. He freaked out, wouldnt stop calling, kept sending me sad songs over facebook, had his friend call me. I finally called him back and he said how he still wants to be with me and all this other stuff.I decided to give it another chance. But made it very clear once again that i dont play games. Nothings improving though. He isn't texting me much at all, maybe sends me 3-4 texts throughout the day and then at night I don't even hear from him. and im not the girl whose gonna blow someones phone up, I see it as if he wants to talk he'll make the effort and will keep the convo going. Hes also here for the whole week and he hasn't been trying to make any effort to see me or anything..I don't get it. Before we were official, he was constantly texting me, wanting to see me, and I was the one who wasn't giving much attention and as he says "playing hard to get". and now it seems like he wants me, but hes not ready to give up his independence and stop playing the field..I confronted him and he denied this being the reason.So I don't get it, whats the reason for him acting the way that he is? Should i give it time, or just let it go?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): ~INADEQUATE COMMUNICATION~
It appears that the two of you haven't taken the time to fully discuss what it is either of you want with one another in the present or the future. Seems like the two of you want the same thing but have imprisoned yourselves to a vicious clockwise and counter-clockwise exhausting circle for unneccary reason and unfortunately if this exhaustive pattern continues than something that really has the potential to be beautiful will wither away.
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