A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, sorry about the long post. I have some questions and can't keep it inside any longer....I am a secretly gay guy. About 4 years ago I met this guy and I developed a MAJOR crush on him. I was not sure if he would like me. Anyways became the best of buddies and we hung out like nothing. We had very close body language - he used to put his arm around me when we go out, so much that one of my friends asked me whether we were a gay couple. Although we slept on the same bed sometimes we never had sex, cause I was not sure whether he would agree to it, and cause I didn't want to ruin our "best buddy" status. (We hung out a lot, had snacks together bought presents for each other etc..) He is kind of "girlish" in his behaviour sometimes, (somebody suggested he might be a "pansey") but he already had a girlfriend, and was having sex with her and owns an "Hour Hotel". One day he asked me whether I watch gay films, and I said yes. When I asked him if he watched gay films, he said he was not a "gay boy". (whenever I asked him about gay things, he replied like this). All the time I was developing a big liking for him,I texed him daily and he texted me daily, whenever he said something negative I would feel depressed.Then he met another guy and all of a sudden his emotional attachments to me changed. He would come to my place, and brought his new friend along. But he grew very sarcastic about me and was saying all kinds of things to hurt me (while visiting me!!). To see him going along with the other guy completely ruined me. I even saw my him sleeping on his friend's lap, and eating from his friend's plate, etc.. in my presence!! (I even heard a guy saying that my friend is his new friend's "chick"). Whenever I mentioned his new friend's name, I could see that he smiled like a school girl, and quickly hide it. I had a gut feeling they were having sex, and used to wake up almost every night with palpitations. So I assumed he was gay with the other guy, and tried to avoid him, as much as possible (I still have a soft corner for him).After sometime his "new" friend married and moved on (my friend even went with his van for the wedding and stayed a couple of days at his house). Now after about six months suddenly my friend comes over to my house and tries to be normal again. I caught him staring at me from behind (creepy!!). He has started to text me again, quoting poems like "7 days a week I miss you, 12 months I need a sweety friend like you". One day he sent me sms with animated "kiss" sign. (Also what does text msg symbols *+* mean??)What is going on?? Is my friend gay? Has his friend had sex with him? Why is he trying to come back? Should I ask him directly? Is he just messing with me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot !! ... more comments please....
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): Well. Play hard to get with him. Do the same what he does. Flirt a little more. But not to much. And if something changes. Go for it. And sk if he's gay. Or whatevr you feel like doing to discover you're freind.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSheeesh, now I have to read a book?? Well, many thanks anyway, appreciate your input, I'll try it.
Anyways, here's an update to the story - there is another guy who is also acts very feminine, and when my friend and he are in a world of their own, and can't help "playfully touching" themselves in odd places(in public). My friend makes sure his face is covered from view. When I approach them them, my friend tones down his cheery talk with him and makes sure the other guy doesn't touch him too much. He still sends lovable/crazy/odd sms messages and unconsciously leans on to me sometimes. Also he is "interested" and "oogling" very young boys (14/15 etc..)- dangerous!! Some say he is not sure whether to come out to me right now, others say he is trying to benefit from me.
Hope more experts will comment. Thanks once again for your replies.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I know!! I have visited several "body langauge" web sites to see whether I can read him, but they have not been very helpful. I have only my "gut feelings" to go by, and I'm wondering whether to trust them.
Anymore comments, anyone??????
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