A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was trying to keep a friendship with my ex bf (he broke it off) but it was just too emotionally draining. I still wanna be with him and love him, but he said he doesn't want a relationship at all right now, or maybe never. He gives me mixed messages but then just wants to be friends. I never call him but he continues to call me and always wants to hang out. So I've been trying 'no contact' and it's been over two weeks now, but he's called me multiple times everyday for the last week. In my best hope is that 'no contact' will make him miss me, maybe feel a void and want to try it again. But maybe going no contact will just make him extremely mad at me? That's not productive.I didn't tell him I wouldn't talk to him anymore, I just started after our last phone convo made me upset. I'm also changing my phone number here soon, should I let my ex know what I'm doing and why or keep 'no contact' and see what it brings me? He knows where I am if he wants to see me. And why is he calling so much if I'm just his friend?
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 No, this will have a good chance in distroying the relationship entirely. The reason a he broke it off with you, I don't know what they are, but he has done it.
Many people break up realizing they just want to be friends but the common mistake that is made is that friandship is thought to be fake and one always really wants to get back together. The challenge he's facing is you being his friend, where the challenge you face is him realizing he misses you and wants to come back.
The problem is if you do this 'no communication' then you could very well lose him all together because he will see you do t want to be freinds with him. commnication is the most important aspect of a relationship if you cut it off you make it worse. So even if he does come back there will most linley be an awkwardness such could be irrepairable.
If I was you and if you want to maintain a relationship with him I'd call and meetup and chat to him about how you exactl feel about this. You will need to make a decision if you want to be friends or not because you still love him. then I'd let him know you'll need some space and ask him to stop calling for a while so this feeling can pass you by. Then say after six months of no communication it is up to you to call him and become friends. You'll need space for a while to become friends.
remember if you stop communication it will distroy the relationship an possibly a friendship forever .
Anyway... Why did he really break it off in the first place. There is more to it hear you need to get to the bottom of.
Let me know how you go ;)
A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Dont let him drive you crazy. Friendships after relationships are just too hard, thats just the truth. There are some people like hime who can do it for a while though. Those people frustrate me. I think you should tell him how you feel and ask him why he calls you and wants to hang with you so much. He will probably say he doesnt know, or you are his best friend, or he still loves you too. If he answers with one of the first two then you have to make a clean break. If he says he still loves you then you guys got alot more to talk about. Just dont let him drag you along.
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