A
female
age
30-35,
*asmiley1364
writes:ok i have a problum im 18 n im seeing a guy thats 32.. i consider him a booty call but he told me he considers me as his girlfriend i am trying to stop feelings for him but when he told me that i gave in..well the problum i have is that hes married!!! yes i know its bad but he came on to me..i just want to know why if hes married why does he consider me as his girlfriend and wath should i do??? and does he really like me???
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Hi,
Its interesting that you say you thought of him as a booty call, because thats exactly what you are to him. Only he has put it in a mushy way, so that you fall for him. If you dont mind being used by this guy, then carry on....but aren't you worth a lot more.
XX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): You may consider him a booty call, but that's not enough for him. He wants you to fall in love, so you will never leave and will stay with him instead of going out to find somebody younger and more available. This is not a sex deal, it's an issue about control. Leave him before he dose damage to your mental and emotional health with all this talk about love. If he loved you he would leave his wife. No! He dosen't love you, he just wants you to keep yourself available for him to use.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): First of all, he DOESN'T consider you his girlfriend. If he really did, then you wouldn't be a secret, you would have met his whole family and all his friends and you would always be together, going to dinners, movies, whatever. That's what a girlfriend really is. Right? yes...He only SAYS that he considers you his girlfriend because he wants to keep sleeping with you and he enjoys having you around for when he feels like it. So if he tells you that he considers you his "girlfriend," he knows that you will stick around for him and so he can always have you as a BACK UP or mistress for when his wife is out of town or whatever...He's just playing a little word game with you cause he knows that you are (and sorry to be so blunt) naive enough to fall for it and accept it...That's all...But clearly you are not his girlfriend...Its just a word game so that he can keep you around...and it worked!
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A
male
reader, vincenzo77 +, writes (12 June 2008):
Hi there. I'm doing some research for a programme about age gap relationships. I'd be really interested in talking to you about what it's likes dating someone who's a good bit older. Give me a shout if you're interested.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 June 2008):
If he's willing to shag about behind his wife's back how do you know he's not got other girlfriends across town.
He's calling you his girlfriend because he knows that will mean you keep having sex with him and don't tell his wife.
He's playing with your head because he's using you.
Get away from this creep before he gives you an STI.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 The word 'girlfriend' can be a confusing one - it can mean a person you are comitted to, or a person you are having sex with. In your case, it's probably the latter. I think the word 'mistress' would be more appropriate in this case.
This man wants to have his cake and eat it too. He's using you for sex and nothing more. When it comes down to the wire, you can bet that he'll pick his wife over you.
Drop him, and find a man who's unattached.
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