A
female
age
51-59,
*ustdon'tgetit
writes:I met a man on New Years Day and we had been spending a whole lot of time with each other ever since. We sat and talked the first date for hours not even realizing 4 hrs had passed. Evey couple days we would get together and it seemed that we had clicked on every level spiritually, emotionally and sexually. Same creative flairs, same sense of humor and lots of deep passionate conversations. He even introduced me to his Parents (which i was totally blind sided by) We even expressed to each other numerous times about how happy we felt about meeting each other. Then last week a couple of minor (to me) conflicts arose 1. He kept telling me he can't tolorate cheaters)which is wsn't cause i really liked him 2. He got upset with me because I posted on FB "i like your pic alot" to a guys photo(i haven't seen this guy in 20yrs and had no intrest in) 3. He tried to blame me for not calling him when in fact he would go all day into the we hrs of night without calling or returning my call. When i brought to his attention that it hurt my feelings he just got overly angry and hasn't called me to fix this. He did however call me to ask if he could use me as a reference..i said yes. We hung up never talking about the big arguement we just had the night before. An hour went by so i put myself out there again and sent a text asking if we were going to be ok? He text back "Maybe". I replied with "Maybe??? Every relationship has misunderstandings and small conflicts to overcome. If the relationship is valued you work through them. Now it is up to you to decide how much one is valued?" Since that text- I hadn't heard from him now going on 4 days. I just don't get how everything could be so great and wonderful up until this past week and then he has had no reaction or follow up even after I put myself out there expressing every feeling i had for him. I am not trying anymore.What the Hell is this lack of concern?
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female
reader, justdon'tgetit +, writes (2 February 2011):
justdon'tgetit is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the input.
A
female
reader, justdon'tgetit +, writes (2 February 2011):
justdon'tgetit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I heard from him finally on the 4th day via text saying I was over reacting because I had expressed to him it hurt my feelings he didn't communicate and call me during the 1st few days. He said he felt I had been neglecting him and not making him my #1 priority. He said he didn't see how I went out of my way for him. That pissed me off and in turn I had to refresh his memory and remind him of how I cooked for him (which I don't usually do), how I brought him birthday ballons and cupcakes to his job (I don't normally do that either), I drove to his place 20 miles away cause his car was in the shop (I never do that for any man), and opened up to him and expressed my deepest and most intimate fears (I don't do that either since I am usually very gaurded in that area). Once I did that, then he realized I was right and told me so and that I won. Also he texted and said he wanted to "work on it". Now normally a man will pick up the phone and try to break his damn neck to smoothe things over with the woman he wants to be with. Not this fool, hours go by before he sends another damn text saying he was at work and I need to chill out. At that point I was like forget the the whole thing because if he wanted it to work like he said, he would have called way sooner. That was the intial problem in the first place. This man tried to flip it on me like I did something to him. I was not in the wrong. I know my worth and what I bring to the relationship. I told him he was cowardly and spoiled and I can't and don't want to deal with someone who doesn't appreciate me and takes me for granted. In other words he can Kick Rocks! So it's over and I've already been asked out on 3 different dates. Fellas please note " What's old to you is Ooooh so Shiny and Brand New to somebody else"
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A
female
reader, justdon'tgetit +, writes (2 February 2011):
justdon'tgetit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I heard from him finally on the 4th day via text saying I was over reacting because I had expressed to him it hurt my feelings he didn't communicate and call me during the 1st few days. He said he felt I had been neglecting him and not making him my #1 priority. That pissed me off and in turn I had to refresh his memory and remind him of how I cooked for him (which I don't usually do), how I brought him birthday ballons and cupcakes to his job (I don't normally do that either), I drove to his place 20 miles away cause his car was in the shop (I never do that for any man), and opened up to him and expressed my deepest and most intimate fears (I don't don't that either).
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): You aren't the problem here...unless you have a worrisome history of cheating or other issues and revealed it to him.
If not, and I assume you don't for sake of argument, then he has serious problems and can't deal with a serious relationship now.
He's got issues.
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A
female
reader, justdon'tgetit +, writes (31 January 2011):
justdon'tgetit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your input it was somewhat helpful. I'm not sure if those answers are totally correct since I have made men wait 6 months...a year... 2 years before and it really doesn't make a big difference to me. It seems to me once the chase/challenge is over they start acting stupid. I say this not only based on my experiences but also on other women that have confided in me over the years. P.S. I did meet the mother and the father who seemed loved me. We even went to church together and the father cooked a special meal for afterwards which I was not expecting.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): Anonymous said it in a nutshell. We men want a woman on our arm who isn't going to sleep with every tom dick and harry that comes along. The fellow's probably thinking it doesn't take much effort to get into your bloomers which is enough to send any man running. You're probably feeling used which is always the case in these predicaments although the girl fails to note that the man didn't force her and would've hung aroung if she had said no. Who's the real culprit?There could be a different reason the fellow's acting that way but I doubt it. You'll never know the truth because if he's a smart man he'll keep it to himself so you won't be hurt.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): There's no way to soften the blow but he doesn't have a reason to get to know you. You gave him your 'goods' to easily. You shouldn't have had sex with him. You just met him New Year's and it's still January. No man wants to take a loose gal home to meet his mother. Don't give it up fast.
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