A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 16. His mother's side of the family know I am 14 but his dad's side think I am 15. The two families don't talk. He has recently started a new job, and goes to collage once a week. He has told all of his new friends that I am 15 nearly 16 and all the people at work. All of his friends from school are all my friends as well, and they all know my real age, and nobody from there has taken it bad, so why has he told everyone a false age. Is he ashamed? I am too scared of telling him I don't like him doing this as he will be cross. Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): There's two reasons he's not telling people
1. He could get sent to prison! underage sex
2. People will think he's strange and using you in some way. Most people won't understand
Two years means nothing once you get older, but at this time in your life. It's a lot. The fact your having sex, shows me he should be in a relationship with a girl his own age and you too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): I agree with the other posters, I think he's uncomfortable with the age gap, 2 years between you and him and he's having sex with you at 14? Yeah, his family wouldn't be happy with that at all, and actually he's running the risk of getting in trouble with the law when he gets just a little older. The main concern I have is that you don't feel you can talk to him. Honestly, that a bad sign, dear. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to him..and if you really are, you shouldn't be a relationship like that. It may get worse as time goes on. Think carefully about this dear.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 October 2008):
Ah then the reason he's lying about your age is because he knows it's wrong for a 16 year old boy to be having sex with a 14 year old girl.
He knows his dad and his friends would think he was taking advantage of you and would yell at him about the huge risks you are taking.
If he makes out that you are only a few months off being legal he can justify it.
It shouldn't matter when you ask a question, he shouldn't get angry just because you Dare to Question his authority. You should not be having sex with someone you are scared of making angry.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, we've been going out for a year.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (18 October 2008):
I don't think he's ashamed. Just feels a little odd about the age gap, or more so what his friends will think about it. Don't be scared about confronting him, it's your right so he shouldn't get cross.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have already had sex. He does'nt geet cross, he just gets mad and annoyed at why i would ask a question like that, and the fact that i would bring it up later rrather than when he tells me.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 October 2008):
If you are too scared of talking to him about it then you aren't in a very good relationship. A girl should never be afraid to ask for an explanation.
He may be ashamed or he may just want to have sex with you in the next 2 years and not be labelled as a paedophile by his friends / family. (even as a joke)
Don't go out with someone who gets cross if you dare to have an opinion. You don't live in Afghanistan. Women are allowed to do what they want here.
Good Luck!! xx
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