A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I hit it off with this guy. We spent a large majority of time talking, and everything was great. Although a weird thing that came up before things got a bit heated, was that he mentioned he might have an STD, that he got tested, but hasn't heard of any results in weeks.Regardless, we made out for a bit and talked some more, and eventually I figured I had to leave to catch the last bus, but before I left, he went to his van and brought a book that he was reading and gave it to me, as a sort of promise that we'd see each other again. (Mind you, he was in a band I was interviewing, and after this night he was going to another city to play there).Well, I didn't end up going home because of other issues with friends, so I spent the night with him, his bandmates, and some of my friends.We spent the whole night talking. Every time we would part, even if only for a bit, we would be all over each other before letting each other go.Ultimately, we went back to my friend's place, and when everyone else was sleeping, we were still up talking until very late into the morning (and making out heavily :)). He would say endearing things like: I know it sounds creepy, but there are so many things that I really love about you, you're almost perfect.And, 'I can't believe you exist.'He was also pushing for us to see each other, he was almost bordering pleading that we'd see each other again, saying he would come by my town once his tour was over to see me.The next day, he and his band left, and he asked if he could call me on my number.He texted me later that night after his show, hoping that I had had a good day, and then texted me again a couple of days later asking if we could talk on the phone.But he never called.I called him a couple of days later, and he seemed almost ecstatic to hear from me, asking me about my day, my week, my weekend, my job, anything and everything. He gave me a landline number to call him on, (as his cell was not really his), saying that he was home all the time, and wasn't doing much, and that I could call him at any time. He kept telling me how awesome I was, etc, etc. He asked for my e-mail address, saying he frequently checks his e-mails, but I never asked for his. He asked if he could call me before he left back home (he was at his mother's for the week, and was leaving to go to his father's, where he lives, which is further away from me)A few hours later, I texted him asking for his e-mail, but I didn't get a response. With the same text, I asked to get hooked up with a couple of his band's songs for my radio show, and again, no response.I called him (relatively late though) the next night, and he didn't answer. I figured he'd call me like he said.But he didn't.A few nights after, I bumped into a supposed good friend of his (bands seem to be interconnected between towns), and he brought him up randomly without any instigation on my part, and for some reason told me: Dan (fake name) has a great heart, and has the best of intentions, but damn, is he the most unreliable son of a bitch I've ever met.So, what the hell? is this guy not interested in me at all? Is he just unreliable with regards to everything? What's happening? I'm so lost.I haven't had any contact with him since. He hasn't contacted me, I can't contact him to ask what's up (I'm pretty sure he's left for his dad's, and I don't have his number or e-mail). If it helps or adds to it at all, we didn't have sex or anything, we just made out pretty heavily.Help?
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female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (23 February 2012):
 Your not stupid, he just caught you at a vunerable time, just try to be a little more cautious next time :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses!
Honestly, I'm around guys in bands all the time. Most of my friends are in bands, and I see how they act. Not only that, I often have guys in bands try to pick me up, but I have always gotten player vibes from them, and have neglected them because of such.
I dunno, I just ... didn't feel that with him ... I guess 'cause he seemed so honest, and wanted to see me again even when things weren't too heated ...
... Ahh, I feel pretty stupid ... but I guess it's best to learn from this now ... thanks again :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): As his friend said - 'he's the most unreliable son of a bitch.'
His actions have proved this haven't they? He probably did like you,while he was with you and will again when he's next in your area.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (22 February 2012):
HI
being in the music industry myself I know only too well how a young guy acts, and I mean ACTS, this is a man who will meet a different girl every week, string you a line or 10, make you feel like you have just entered a movie, tell you what you want to hear then go on to the next girl.I see it all the time, and it disgusts me, 1) how these guys do it and 2) why these girls throw themselves at these guys because their in a band. You heavily petted with him even though he told you he may have an STD!!! heavy petting can also pass on std's, I suggest you have a test yourself. His not answering your call's text's email's is this not the wake up call you need???
Learn from this and move on. If he try's to contact you again ( which he will, the next time his gigging near you ) dont fall for his crap and tell him to jog on. if you know whats good for you that is . If you decide to see him again on your head be it!
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