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Why has my ex started calling me again?

Tagged as: Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My ex has been calling me lately. What does he want? We dated for 4 years and broke up a year ago. I caught him with another woman in his bedroom on New Years day 2008. What a way to bring in the New Years right? (Hahaha I can at least laugh about it now)After I caught him, he behaved so mean toward me. It was as if he hated me. That's what I felt like... he hated me. I never understood that.

Anyway, now recently he has been calling me here and there. We just talk about whatever. I'm able to talk to him decently. Now that surprises me after how depressed and hurt I was. I was so hurt, so confused and I cried a lot. It took me the whole year of 2008 to get over it. But, I had to forgive him for what he did to be able to get over it and give myself peace within me.

Now he's calling and it's okay with me. He calls and asks if I will have breakfast with him. Or when he's out on the weekends he sometimes calls and asks if I will pick him up and take him home due to being intoxicated. I have taken him home twice but that's it. Nothing else happens and I won't let it. I just don't understand what he's thinking or what he wants.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, my ex

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (25 February 2009):

hello hes just using you asking you to pick him up when drunk & inviting you for breakfast translates as ''i need a bed buddy''

do yourself the biggest favour and cease all contact

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009):

Don't let him back in your life. You have healed and moved on. What he did to you was hurtful, he never had your best interest in mind when you two were dating and in love so why would he give a damn about you now?

You deserve a "friend" you can trust and who really cares about you!!

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A female reader, jessica04 United States +, writes (24 February 2009):

jessica04 agony auntMy ex husband cheated on me, and hid the fact from me for several months after our divorce. When I got a new BF, he started accusing me of cheating! He turned into a total snob on me, and was rude and hateful...

... Kind of makes sense now, huh?

I don't know what your views on cheaters are, but I wouldn't recommend letting him back in your life as anything other than a casual friend. Also, make sure you set some limits about his calling. It's nice to go out to lunch with someone, but it's not so great when your picking up your cheater-ex at 2 a.m. because he's too cheap for a cab.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009):

free ride and playing ya, be careful.Soz to be harsh but don't trust him.

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A female reader, lotus mama808 United States +, writes (24 February 2009):

lotus mama808 agony auntHave you tried asking him tis question. Only he really has the answer. And does it matter to you what he wants? I mean, sounds like you're cool with being his friend, but thats it, so does it matter if he wants to be your boyfriend? It shouldnt if it isn't what you want. I talk to many of my ex's all the time, and I consider them good friends, even though they did me wrong.

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