A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and Ive been fighting for some time. I think he cares more for his job than for me, he's assertive and attentitive more to his job. Like, he's emotionally disattached himself from me. Our fighting has really calmed down in which there is none, which is pretty good. Though, Im a little concerned that his mind and interests are in some other woman or women. Like we dont kiss, hug, and have sex anymore. He claims that he is tired from work, so I took his tiredness into consideration. Though, Im starting to question that since he says he is tired but gets in bed to read his book for an hour and when I roll over to cuddle, he turns his back towards me and gets to the edge of the bed. Ive talked to him about this, I said that Im a bit concerned but I keep hearing how tired he is. Ive been walking around the house naked, and when in the past I did that it would turn him on but now that doesn't even work. When I did make a move to satisfy him, and only he got some pleasure I only heard that I didnt have to do that. Ive been questioning what is wrong with me:( He is a bit cold to me and he is very different from what he used to be. Ive been thinking that maybe he has cheated on me and thus why he may be so distant. When I even got him something that is practical, I hear that I shouldnt have. And that is so not like him to speak to me like this way. Ive been patient. Ive tried talking to him, making him feel good, giving him some space and nothing works. It is like having a sexless marriage and it wasnt like this before. Any Advice
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 Yes he may have cheated but I dont think you should naturally assume that. He may have a lot of stress at work, he may be worried financially and cant discuss it with you. He may be going through a time that means he is unsure about his direction and future in life. Try not to put pressure on sexually but arrange a night in or our where he can relax and explain to him that you cant help him without knowing what is going on in his head. You do need to talk and you may not like what he is going to say but you will have to take it slow to get it out of him. x
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Looks to me that the reason because he stays at work more is because he feel safe at work. Maybe the house became a fighting nightmare to him, that's why he wants to spend less time there.
The "In love" experience seems to be fading. I don't think you guys speaks the same love language at all.
Love language are like chines and English, it's either you understand it or you don't.
To know your spouse love language, notice the ways he shows his love to you. If he's the kind of guy who give you gifts to show his love, chances are that the way he would understand that you love him is by giving him a gift.
If he likes to bring you places, chances are that his love language is "Quality time". So go places together.
If he does things for you, like clean the dishes, do the laundry etc. Chances are that his love language is "Act of services" and the way to show your love to him is by helping him out.
There's tons of books on the subject, look for "Love languages", I'm sure you'll find something.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/tp/Withholding-Sex.htm
http://lifecrisisguide.wordpress.com/2008/02/13/top-5-reasons-why-a-marriage-fails/
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-2659.html&fromMod=popular_sex
Try these articles to come up with a solution, no one really knows better than you what is going on in your relationship,
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