A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why don't I get asked out by men I fancy?I am single and through my life I have only been involved with a couple of men, who wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with them.All the other times it was either unrequited love or I have been asked out by men that I have no interest in and just say no.Friends say I should just give them a chance but I'm not the sort of girl who strings guys along - so I don't really date anyone on the off chance that I 'may' develop feelings for them at a later date.This leads me to the question - is everyone who is in a relationship in it because they fancy them - or is it just to give them a 'chance' and see how it goes? As from experience very few men I fancy ask me out. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): OP here. Thanks for the last response. Yes it seems a lot of people must settle for second best rather than be single. Unfortunately not wanting second or third best has led me to a long single life.
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (8 November 2015):
 I agree with you poster
What's the point of going out with someone you know you couldn't have sex with? Sometimes it's just obvious
I wouldn't rule out nice guys who make you feel nice and that don't make you vomit. Some men can grow on you, its happened to me even though I thought it wouldnt x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): Keep your standards high. I have so many friends who settle for guys they dont fancy or are not really in love with. Better to be single than with someone you see as second best.
Make yourself the best version you can of you mentally and physically. I lost two stone, revamped my wardrobe and look and took up wine tasting and French. The men came flocking. Superficial maybe but it is nice to have more choice
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): OP here. Can I add that I'm not snobby at all - just dint feel comfortable dating men I have no feelings for. I don't like to appear sexual to them.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): You've cut yourself off from possible prospects because a guy didn't strike your fancy straightaway. You've missed-out and it's your fault. There are people who grow on you.
How is it leading someone on, if they simply asked you out on a date or coffee? That's not a marriage proposal. You brushed them off before you even knew one way or the other, and it has placed you right where you are.
Perhaps those you've fancied were completely out of your league. Therefore it remained unrequited. A series of crushes and yearnings for guys who wouldn't give you the time of day.
That's a very costly habit, my dear! Snobbery has serious repercussions. Of course you would reject totally unsuitable types, but you may have looked down you nose at someone who could have changed your mind and stolen your heart. You judged with your eyes without getting to know the man inside and out.
Well, now the suitors aren't as plentiful. So there may be times when you may have to make the first move. Learn to handle the rejection you used to hand out so generously.
If you fancy a guy, and he's too slow to make a move; then start a friendly conversation. You have to spark his attention. It's not the 20th century. You can checkout a guy and break the ice. He doesn't always have to approach you first.
...............................
|
