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age
36-40,
*
writes: me and my boyfriend were together for a year and 4 months. He was my first boyfriend, and first everything. We broke up for good (I think), this morning.We had a lot in common. Music, hobbies, movies, interests, goals... well, he also claimed I was his first love. We had a truly blissful relationship until the sixth month.He had a lot of issues with my past (he disapproved of it) and because I lied. We broke up several times, but we always made up. Aside from the problems, our love kept grwoing, and things were even starting to get better, less fighting and he told me he was getting over my past and starting to trust me more.He became like my best friend. And I truly do love him so much. But this time, I think it's definitive. He told me he wishes me the best, that hopefully I'll be truly happy, and that he doesn't want to know anything from me.Now, I'm having problems, because I KNOW we're not meant to be. True, we had a lot in common and seemed perfect for each other. But he always made me feel miserable about my past and my mistakes, and that's not good for a relationship. However, I left feeling like I'm the bad girl in this, like he's a saint and I ruined everything. Our last fight and final straw was because of some things I had done prior to dating him which he didn't know about and he disliked them. He left telling me he thinks I'm a liar and promiscuous (he used a harder term). The problem is, until yesterday everything was great between us, so loving and sweet.Why don't I feel better now that it's over, if I know he's not right for me? Why am I still hopeful that we'll get back together? Why does everything I like remind me of him? Why don't I feel relieved? How long will this take, and what can I do to get over him?
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best friend, broke up, get back together, liar Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pari  +, writes (18 January 2008):
having things in common is not enough. u need to hav the same beliefs and same values.... etc etc
he was more of your bestfriend than a boyfreind to be honest and that is like all relationship, even in my own.
if he cant forgive you then thats bad.....
but your hopeful...
and if there is no hope in the world- the world will not survive. this world practically lives on hope....
you will get other it soon. this is only recent.
first u will be distressed but ... the pain will go down...
just give it time.
time is the best medicine for wounds in the heart.....
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 You are feeling some guilt over this I think because it seems that the breakup ended up being about you.
As far as getting over it, you will get over it.
Just as an injury may leave a gaping wound, it may take awhile to heal.
The main thing is, the wound does heal.
Just give it a little time and things will get better. Doc
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A
female
reader, maggie1987 +, writes (4 January 2008):
 theres nothing u can do to get over someone except give yourself time, its only been a day so u never know u might get back together but all u can do is give it time it probably will take a few weeks even months but u will get over him
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