A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Posters Own Title:I don't understand what's been going on with me. To start off my gf of 3 and 1/2 years broke up with me last March. Then in June she finally admits she still loves me and wants to work things out. I was finally relieved and excited although I didn't trust her and still don't to some extent. Me and her have been having great times talking and hanging out since she admitted to loving me and wanting to get back together. However things started to feel differently for me now that she just came back from a week long trip and I don't understand why. Before the trip things were great but now I just don't feel myself. When I talk to her now I feel as if there's not much I really have to say when normally we can talk about anything. I also feel lame and as I've lost my sense of humour. I don't enjoy even hanging out with her anymore but I want to, I feel like I've only been a disappointment to her recently. I know I'm very stressed cause of many issues here and in my family but since she's going to college in california this year and I want to get away from everyone else here I've decided to come along with her since I also want to be with her.Could this just be stress and anxiety from my hard life? Am I experiencing signs of depression? I know I've been drinking a lot lately so I hope I haven't developed a tolerance and need to drink to stay normal. Although I have no urge to drink. I really want to interact with my gf more and not be a disappointment to her. Am I just showing signs that I just don't love her and don't care? I got her thinking something about me but didn't say what it was. I would really appreciate anyone's advice. I would just like to be myself again.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (27 July 2010):
 This sounds like a hollow relationship that is just running on past memories and not forming new ones. Sometimes the pain from a break can be so much that it can never heal with that person. I think you are looking for the past in her even though part of your mind knows that it is over. I've been in that stage before where you want to see them even though its no fun and sometimes painful in hopes to go back to how you were in the past. Your mind is fighting with your heart right now. The mind says leave while the heart is hopeful and wants things to work. In almost all of the cases the mind wins but you won't be able to let go until it can prove to the heart that it is the right thing to do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): It could be that maybe your concern about trusting her is keeping you distant, a defense mechanism of sorts. It could also be that your are just so stressed about everything else, that it is starting to affect how you're feeling. Go with her and see if the new environment helps, if you start to feel better, then great. If not, start examining things in your life and see if there is anything particularly bothering you.
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