A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi..I've been with my bf for one and a half years and we are sooooooooo very much in love!! Things are going great, could not be better and he's become even more loving than usual of late, we're so crazy about each other, it's sooooo obvious to everyone and I could not be happier with him! The thing is I think I have a crush of some sort on this friend of his. They've just recently started hanging out a lot more together and of course I'm always around coz my bf and I live together and they're usually at our place though not always. The other guy has a gf and they're really good together, a lovely couple too. What is wrong with me?? Why do I feel like I want to make sure I see him when he's at our place...I actually found myself hurrying home this evening when my bf told me he was there. I feel so damn guilty! I would never ever ever do anything about it, but still! I mean, I'm disusted with myself! Why am I being such a stupid idiot?? What *is* this??Signed-Creator of trouble in Paradise
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female
reader, uditi  +, writes (2 March 2007):
this is just a matter of time, wht i want to say tht whn you r going around with someone in the first few months u just feel how amazing a this person is but thn whn some year passes by the guy/gal who actually tried to win u over has now stopped doing it coz now u both know how much u love n care 4 each other n whn some1 else shows u the affection tht u miss u feel attracted towards him/her n believe me its very normal and if by some chance the other guy who says u exactly wht u expect ur patner to say u start thinking abt him/her all day long n wish to have tht person in ur life.
so the best thing tht one can do is juzz stop expecting n it will work
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Hi there..this is the OP
Lol @ Ponungalungb's last sentence..And also EWWWWW!! That'd certainly help! OF course I'd never act upon the silly crush thingie...but it might help me to figure out what exactly it is that makes me feel that way..Maybe it's coz he told us what he did for his gf's b'day, hiring a limo and what not, while my bf rushed out on my b'day and picked me up a perfume. Either way..all your advice has been so very helpful. Thanks. I still can't stop picturing and laughing at the puss-filled pimple and warts..*shudders*
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (13 February 2007):
 I think Eddie has this one pegged. I've had girlfriends who had girlfriends that would turn anyone's head. You just don't act upon your attraction . . . IF you treasure your relationship with your boyfriend.
Next time this guy comes over, picture him naked, with a giant puss-filled festering pimple on his ass and a cluster of hairy warts on the head of his pencil-thick penis. That might make him a little less appealing to you. LOL.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (13 February 2007):
 Have you ever heard the old saying; You always want what you can't have?
You may even just want something you see in him that you don't see in your bf.
You are in a difficult situation, and not being able to sit down one on one with you makes it all the more difficult to offer solid advice.
All I can say is try to identify what it is that trips your ticket about this guy. Try to see if it is in the way he talks, the way he moves, the things he says, etc.
Sorry I cannot be more help on this one. Doc.
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A
female
reader, kayleighere  +, writes (13 February 2007):
I have been in this position, not long ago actually. To be honest i dont really have advice for you, except to stay with who trully makes you the happiest. i chose the crush and well im still with him now its only been three weeks and im regretting it. i cant get my ex out of my head and its depressing me, also i didnt realise that he loved me back, i had to find that out when i told him i was finishing him for someone else, but your situation may be different. so... its your decision but make the right choice because this crush might go away but if you think that things between you and him will work better than between you and your boyfriend. give it a go! follow your heart. whatever makes you happiest!!!
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (13 February 2007):
 This is normal. The good thing is you recognize it and now that you do, file it away as a guilty little pleasure. Why shouldn't you be attracted to him? Because you're in a relationship? This will happen again in your life. Relationships are a union of choice and committment. You can't dictate to your brain who you find attractive. That just happens. We are built to be attracted to othes. That is how we survive. What you control are your actions. Those determin who has integrity and who is weak. So what's the problem? He's good looking, nice etc. They're a dime a dozen. You can't run from one realtionship to another every time you feel an attraction. That would be a shallow existence.
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