A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:An old school friend was going through divorce and we had sex on Valentine's Day.he knew I was crazy about him.Then he just went quiet.I got upset because I felt he used me for sex and I told him that.He said that I really pissed him off saying that.He then went very distant.That made me feel like I didn't know whether he wanted me or not.So I dated someone else. Now he is working 40hours a week, one to one with me ,but now has a girlfriend where he lives.I don't understand.Obviously wants the cake and eat it,but why doesn't he want a relationship with me?He knows I love him and we get on so well together.Is he waying up the odds or just job desperate?I have asked him and he said that his new relationship was early days.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011): he was just using you cos he was feeling vulnerable at the time from his divorce. that's why he got so defensive when you called him out on it, cos it's the truth.
A
female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (28 August 2011):
 You love him. He does not. You cannot force him to love you, sweetheart, no matter what, and feeling like you "deserve" a relationship with someone who clearly is not a good choice for a boyfriend shows that you need to look within yourself to find out why you're choosing unsuitable men.Just because you get along and have had sex does not mean you'd be compatible in a relationship. He obviously doesn't think so, he's attracted enough to you to have sex with you, but he does not want to commit to you.Don't sleep with him anymore. Avoid him outside of work, treat him like a co-worker and not a lover/boyfriend. Give up on trying to force a situation that would be unhealthy and bad for your self-esteem and find a single man who will love and care for you, instead of use you.
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