A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Thanks for being there to help all of usm. My problem is my long distance boyfriend was going to get a place for us to stay and then we would marry and I would move there and look for a job. I have been saving to have some money to use while I look. He has now been gone 18 months and I have saved up quite a bit but he seems to have done nothing. He didn't make as much as he had hoped, and kept on saying he was working on it but I didn't see results. That went on for a while, then he didn't work for a month while on holiday as he says clients don't want to be seen at xmas, then more nothing, the latest is that he had to write a big exam and couldn't work until it was passed. We had a big row and he said I musn't pressure him, and the delay is because of the exam, but my point was the exam was only for this month, there was no problems with exams last year so what was the excuse for last year or what is it going to be in 6 months time? He is fun, makes me laugh, I don't think he has another girlfriend and we still have a good time together. If I love him, how long do I put up with this? He says he wants to be married in 6 months but with the way things are I don't beleieve that it will happen - although it would be possible if I organised and paid for it no problem! Or I could just move up there, find a flat and put my name on the lease. I haven't asked but I know him, he'd be moving his pots and pans in record time and settle down in domestic bliss, telling me he'll pay half of everything. I just don't want it that way, I am moving there for him and he's not doing anything to facilitate it, but if I orgaised it he'd be ok to move in with me. Why won't he put in some effort? Am I not worth it?
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female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (29 July 2012):
 He may not be feeling the same about you as you feel about him. When I was in a long distance relationship it only lasted a couple of weeks, since I put in all the effort of communicating first. If I hadn't we never would've talked. Have a serious talk with him about how he feels about you and see if it's really worth being with him.
Good luck :)
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