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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of four months lives with me and my two kids but I pay rent and utilities. He has his own place on the side which he never stays at. I just don't get why he keeps his place and wastes money on rent instead of helping me! He says he is not ready to move in with me until later on but stays with me daily since we met. I don't want to push it but I have this strange feeling that something is not right. He buys most of the food but rent is already 1000 a month for me! What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): He's only been with you for 4 months in my opinion that's way too soon to be moving in. He probably stays at yours because he gets food and sex then when those kids start getting on his nerves he has his own place to escape to whenever he wants.
On the other hand maybe he just doesn't want to move in with you. Sometimes the most obvious answer is the right one. If your not happy about it then tell him because at the end of the day you're the one letting him stay over.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (6 November 2010):
 What ages are we talking about here?
Because your profile says 18-21 yet you can afford to spend 1000 (what) on rent? Have two kids?
He is probably getting cooked food, cleaned clothes and sex out of this arrangement. That might be ALL he wants OR he is a bachelor who finds himself included in a ready made family and he wants his link to freedom.
Has he expressed any desire to make this a more permanent arrangement?
What is it that he wants to do with his life at this moment. Is he ready to move into this complete household? It seems not. You should know him best. Does he need time, are you pushing to fast or is he just never going to want to be fully part of your family other then as a "father" for the good times (easy to be a father when birthday presents are handed out, less easy when the bill for braces comes in).
I think the speed with which he started staying at your house but not made a commitment is not a good sign.
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A
male
reader, rivi  +, writes (6 November 2010):
Why exactly is he supposed to help you financially ?They r not his kids right ?He wants his own place he's entitled to his independence not to mention a respite from noisy kids that aren't his ! If you keep banging on about it you'll lose him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Maybe he's afraid of commitment! That's a little soon to moving someone n around to. He could just b using u to.. For sex/ company/ "hang out spot. B careful! Because who wudnt want to save money! I wish you the best! Mayb he's not taking u as serious as y0u take him because moving in together is a big deal.. Well I no it is for me! Good luck! Pray for guidance for ur relationship! God Bless!
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