A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:a little back story: I am an 19 year old girl in university, I currently have a part time job on the side for fun. And over the summer i got very very close with my coworkers and we hung out everyday, but recently we all haven't been talking or they have all been going out without me and not telling me. In university I'm doing really well its a big improvement from high school as i was very lonely and bullied when i first started in high school but university is definitely better.My dilemma is that now i am very lonely, and have absolutely no friends at all. I have talked to people and have friends inside class, but i have no one to hang out with over weekends or go out with once school is over. I never have any one text me or ask me to hang out or anything. Ive tried so hard to make friends, and gone out of my way to invite the people i met in class for a cup of coffee but they politely decline. It sucks not having friends and having nothing to do all the time, and I'm not too close with my family as they all work and we don't see each other much. Id like to think of myself as somewhat smart and pretty average looking, i don't think theres anything wrong with me, but how come no one ever wants to talk to me? I'm tired of being alone all the time and making myself miserable
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 December 2016):
 Why use a picture off a different woman for gaming, why not just put up animated pictures? I really think you knew what you where doing, and now you have taken it much to far. No don't tell him. Block him and move on with your life. He is not falling for you, he is just wanting sex, he has a girlfriend. The only person you have hurt here is yourself again. Hopefully you learn this time.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (12 December 2016):
Sometimes you have to find friends outside of your normal circle.
Example... I am black, and came from the Caribbean. I had issues with blending into life in Canada. I had no black friends, why? Because I was different and very discipline. They saw me as uncool.
What I did notice was, people of other cultures were not so judgemental. So I ended up having a lot of friends, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, white, East Indian, and so on.
So sometimes you have to branch out to find good people. There is a world full of different and exciting people. You just have to open up to them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2016): University life can vary and there are many reasons.
Often the friendships are formed in thge first year largely based on who lives where!
If you live in uni halls of residence there is enormous emphasis on socialising amongst the people you live with and so much day to day stuff goes on inside the rooms , at the weekends or meal times.
Sometimes these friendship groups split into smaller groups for housing outside uni accomodation for the second and third years.
People who are not housed in with the general mele are often seen as very independant and more grownup sometimes and this can often be a barrier to effectively close friends..
Insecure people often stick with what they know well. Tears and laughter in the dorms and a shutdown mentality outside of the group.
Often it seems as tho the friendships move superfast with nick names and favourite tv shows watched together in the dorms.
It strikes me that you probably come across as very independent.
Perhaps living away from uni accomodation and hard working and industrious.
See a student counsellor and tell them your feeling lonely because people arent talking much to you or in a way that clicks with you.
The student counsellor is easily booked by appointment and dont be shy!
Dont hold it all together if you can squeeze a tear out.
They will have good plans like getting you into group accomadation ,or giving you a friendly mentor or introducing you to the student union programme and you need to put yourself in the driving seat on the student union.
Find out when they do leafletting and join in by helping with that.
Smile or look serious as much as you like and acquire the short term currency of names as much as possible.
Make sure youre given help to integrate.
Tell the student counsellor you were bullied at high school and feel fragile at times.
Its their duty to make sure it never recurs and that you have a lastingly happy experience.
Just keep at it
Alot of people feel homesick and isolated at first and unis try to go all out to help you feel welcome.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (11 December 2016):
 What are your interests? Have you tried joining any groups at university where you will meet people with similar interests? That is always a good way to make new friends as you immediately have something to talk about.
When you are with people, do you take an interest in what they are talking about or do you just talk about yourself all the time?
Can you ask someone who you feel particularly close to why people don't include you in these outings? Perhaps it is something you have not realized and that is easily fixable.
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