Why does this young girl act this way? Why do I let it bother me?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I never thought that I'd ask such a question, but here goes...this is a friendship question, not a relationship question. I live in a trailer park with my mom. I play games outside with little kids sometimes such as board games like scrabble, Life, etc. The oldest is this girl who is in fifth grade. She recently was talking shit about my barbies, but rather than believe the one who told me, I confronted her about it. (Cos why play with something you don't like?) Then some days ago she was talking with two of the kids who play with me about how she claims that she heard my mom has rats in her house. The other two chimed in with yes I heard that was true. They were saying this shit around my husband. Shes made fun of me before in front of the other kids, and they have remained silent. I didn't say ne thing to her. I could've said, well who do we know who does this? And talked loudly, pretending to be her on the phone. She talks to guys really loudly in the trailer park and sometimes I can hear her twelve feet away on that phone. Some months ago she told me about sexual abuse that happened to her long ago. Then the other day when I was cleaning my room to donate some things to Good will and some other places, she and another girl, both of whom had been talking about my mom's house, kept saying hi to me. I said nothing back, because I refuse to talk to backstabbers. Then one of them said, I hope you do move, and slammed the door in a cowardly move. I haven't had time lately to play with her cousins, since I have work and spend time with my husband, who only comes by on the weekends since we are both poor and still living with our parents in separate cities. We have been married a year. My theory is that now she has less time to talk to guys on the phone, and has to watch her cousins instead of me playing games with them, and this makes her angry. She is also related to someone who used to be my best friend but moved. My mom paid those two kids that she was talking with for various chores that they did for her some weeks ago. So I don't understand why they would be talking shit about my mom or me. I guess the other kid was right about her. I really shouldn't care what little kids think about me, it's just that her behavior puzzles me. Is she jealous? Why would they act this way after all that we have done for them and they are not even our kids? Their mom lets them go out late at night when it's dark sometimes. They are always breaking stuff that is given to them, or messing it up. They are always getting into trouble. And according to my husband, the fifth grade girl seems to be moving pretty fast for her age. They say mean things to each other, like "so and so likes to suck d***." Maybe they feel like I don't understand, because I am white, but I was once very poor when I was younger. My mom didn't watch me either and she let me walk around by myself outside when I was two. But enough details, why is this girl acting this way? And what do you think I should do about it? I mean, she is entitled to her own opinions, yes, but is she trying to be mean to get something she wants? Such as me watching her cousins again? What does she want from me? What is her payoff for acting this way?

View related questions: best friend, cousin, jealous

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

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A female reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 July 2009):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

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A female reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 July 2009):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

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A female reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 July 2009):

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